Living Well

Happy New Year!

2012-01-03T16:07:00.000-06:00

What is the most valuable commodity that we have available to us?

Money is important to many people. Money can be lost. But it can be gained again. Homes can be destroyed by a tornado but they can be rebuilt. Time is really our most valuable commodity. Once lost, it can never be regained. Time cannot be purchased or acquired. We all have the same amount, regardless of our socio-economical level, race, or gender. We all have the same amount of time and equal opportunities to use our time beneficially or waste it.

2011 has drawn to a close. We often review how we have done with money during the previous year. We are forced to see examine the subject when we do our taxes.

How many of us look at how we spent our time? We can put money in an investment or in the bank and leave it alone, not really think about it. It may even grow some while it sits. However, if we don’t think about how we spend our time, we will spend it all and have not gained anything.

To waste time is to squander a gift from God. (John Blanchard)

Most of us spend around eight hours sleeping and eight hours working. What do we do with the other eight? Some of that time is driving, some is eating, some is cleaning our bodies/house, some is with family members. But what about our discretionary time? How are we investing our time? On what will we spend the time that cannot be regained?

There is nothing wrong with spending time having fun, but is that our goal for discretionary time? How much of that golden time do we lose by being angry? Or do we spend our time indulging in damaging behaviors? Or do we just do nothing, laying around, watching TV? God is interested in and cares about how we use the time He has given us, not just the money.

At our stage in life, we have many interests. Some would take a lifetime to complete. We are painfully aware that we do not have enough time left to fulfill all of our desires. So, we have chosen to seek God on what He wants for our time. We believe that the focus for our time is to bring healing and health to marriages through the work of God in a people’s lives.

During the next two months - we will go back to Zambia for two weeks, come back, teach a marriage retreat, lead a team to provide a marriage celebration event, teach marriage classes, and continue to provide guidance for marriages in crisis, financial distress, and to prepare couples for marriage. We are excited about what God has for us in 2012!

We leave in two days for Zambia. The Lord has been faithful to provide for the mission. At the end of this letter, we will have our intinerary and prayer requests. We value your prayers. We believe that you are all part of our ministry team.

You are a valuable part of our ministry! We love and appreciate you and your support of what God is doing!

Our love in Christ,
Donna and Ed Edwards

Thursday, Jan.5, 7:00 am* (*Times are local with CDT in parenthesis)
      Leave for Nairobi, Kenya, arrive Friday 8:40 pm (11:40 am*)

Saturday, Jan. 7, 8:50 am
    Leave for Ndola, Zambia (11:50pm, Friday*), arrive noon (2:00 am, Saturday*) 43 hours after leaving OKC (includes 8 hours at hotel in Nairobi to sleep, shower and eat)

Sunday,Jan.8 - Sunday,Jan.15    Sunday - Ed preaches in a church
   Monday - Donna teaches a women's seminar
   Tuesday and Wednesday - both lead couples follow-up and teach
   Thursday - visit Wisdom Community School and Nkwazi Slum
   Friday - both teach Kaniki Bible College
   Saturday - both teach single parent"s seminar
   Sunday - Ed preaches in a church

Monday, Jan. 16, 12:50 pm
   Fly to Nairobi, Kenya (4:50 am*), arrive 4:20 pm(7:20 am*) includes 24 hrs. of rest before flying home

Tuesday, Jan. 17, 10:55 pm (2:55 pm*)
depart Nairobi for home

Wednesday, Jan. 18, 5:21 pm
   ARRIVE OKLAHOMA CITY! (26 ½ hours total journey home)

PRAYER REQUESTS:
1. Safety in travel, good health, sleeping well in Zambia
2. Logistics and meeting schedule to work out smoothly in Zambia
3. Good weather for flights and in Ndola, so that participants can travel to meetings/services
4. God’s words and His wisdom as we speak to various groups in Zambia
5. God’s words and wisdom as we speak at marriage retreat January 27-28 in Norman
6. God’s financial provision (day-to-day expenses) for His ministry through Living Well, that He would provide for our full budget
7. Wisdom in leading a new marriage & family ministry team at our church, planning for Feb. 3 Together Forever event
8. Wisdom in knowing God’s will as we plan for 2012.
9. Wisdom in marriage/financial guidance appointments/teaching—God would speak through us and strengthen/heal the people, their marriages/finances.
10. Our family - good health, protection on our marriage; protection, wisdom for our children and grandchildren

Christians and Christmas

2011-12-08T15:42:00.001-06:00

Was Christ born on December 25th?

Probably not. The most common explanation was that He was probably born around the end of September (for more info, here's one source).

So.... if He wasn't born at that time, should we celebrate that date for His birth?

In fact, Christ wasn't even "born" when He came to live on this earth. He existed from the beginning. He is God and has existed in eternity past. When He came to earth, we say that He was incarnate or became a human in the flesh. In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning.... The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. (John 1:1-2,14)

Should we celebrate Christmas as a religious holiday? If it's not a religious holiday, why would Christians get so upset that people want to say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas?"

Some people believe that we shouldn't celebrate any religious holidays because 1) we don't know the exact date and 2) we celebrate His life, death, and resurrection every day.

Don Fortner wrote:
We must not observe any religious holiday. We should attach no spiritual, religious significance to any day. Yet, we do not need to act like super-pious religious idiots over a day that has absolutely no religious significance....Did you know that every DAY of the week, every PLANET in the universe, and many of the CARS we drive are named after pagan gods? Yet, we still call Sunday Sunday, Mars Mars, and a Saturn a Saturn. No one would ever dream of calling us pagans for doing so. We worship our God on Sunday, and would laugh at anyone who suggested that we observe the pagan Roman holiday called “Sun’s Day” in doing so. If your car is a Saturn, use it for the glory of God; and laugh at anyone who thinks that you are worshipping the Roman god of agriculture by driving it. We must not, and I trust do not, worship Christmas trees and lights, or even attach spiritual significance to Christmas day.

However, I do suggest that we seize this opportunity afforded us by Divine providence to tell people who Christ is, why he came into this world, what he did, and how they may obtain his salvation. It is no accident that once every year every human being in the world is confronted with the fact that the Son of God assumed human flesh and came into the world to save men. Certainly, no one can think that it is wrong for believers, during this season of the year, to express thanks and praise to God for his unspeakable gift, the Lord Jesus Christ. It is never wrong, but always right to think of Him, speak of Him, and sing His praise. Rather than not singing Watts’ grand old hymn, "Joy To The World," we ought to sing it year round.

For me, yes, we will celebrate Christmas. Christmas is important to our family as one expression of our faith, our traditions, and the memories that go with them.

The Christmas celebration will not be more worshipful than other days. The tradition will not be the foundation of my faith.

However, the hearts of so many people are very tender at this time of the year. It gives us great opportunities to share why we believe, to share our hope and our future.

The Christmas message is that
there is hope for a ruined humanity –
hope of pardon, hope of peace with God, hope of glory –
because at the Father’s will
Jesus became poor, and
was born in a stable so that thirty years later He might hang on a cross.
J.I. Packer

December 2011 Letter - LIVING WELL

2011-12-02T11:16:00.000-06:00

“The Greatest Man in History, Jesus,
had no servants, yet they called Him Master.
Had no degree, yet they called Him Teacher.
Had no medicines, yet they called Him Healer.
He had no army, yet kings feared Him.
He won no military battles, yet He conquered the world.
He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him.
He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today. “ Author Unknown

The fact that one person could have that much of an influence in His world and for generations to come is mind-boggling! How do we even wrap our minds around that fact? The most amazing part of the Christmas story is still that God would leave the glory of heaven to come to earth and live as one of us. He lived in a way that we could all know what God is like. Humans were able to see and walk with God himself. Men and women talked to God! People saw how it looks to live a life perfectly. We have a written record of how a person lives a completely, selfless, faith-filled life. He did all of that so that we could know Him as our Savior, our Lord, and our God.

As Americans, we face a challenge and an opportunity at Christmas.

Our challenge is to celebrate the incarnation of our Savior every day and not be overcome by the materialism of this season.

Our opportunity is to share with our circle of friends/family/colleagues about the ultimate Gift at a time when hearts are soft and longing for a lasting peace and joy of the season. “… How much more did God’s grace and the gift that came by the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ, overflow to the many!” Romans 5:15b

With a little over a month until our next mission trip to Zambia, we need lots of prayer!

As we explained in our last post, we believe God has called us to expand our ministry in Africa. We will leave again on January 5th to minister in Zambia. We will be teaching and meeting with pastor couples that we taught last year, as well as with new couples. We will also be planning for an expanded ministry next summer. Please pray with us as we finalize details. We have already purchased our plane tickets, almost $5000. At this time, we have received about 2% of the $7500 total cost of the trip. We believe that God will provide! Please join us in that prayer!

We wholeheartedly believe in the priority of the great commission. Matthew 28:19 says, “Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations.” Have we really “made a disciple” if we have only engaged in presenting the gospel? We take very seriously the command to “make disciples.” We believe that one of the most important ways we can make a disciple is through teaching pastors how to live out the Christ-life in their marriages. And secondly, we teach and train the pastors how they can teach others to live out the good news of Jesus Christ.

Marriage is a vital part of God’s design for our life on this earth. He started the Bible with a marriage between the first man and woman - before the birth of children or the birth of the church. He also ends the Bible with a wedding - a wedding between Christ and the Church. Marriage is not the only part of discipleship but it is a very important part of it. Marriage is a visible symbol God wants to use to show the world how He loves, how He accepts, and how He forgives.

The end of the year is often a time when people consider their giving to the Lord in a special way. We are very thankful for the people who support this ministry. These end-of-the-year donations are a vital part of our budget. Please pray for God to supply our needs at this time of the year.

You are a valuable part of our ministry! We love and appreciate you and your support of what God is doing at Living Well!

Donna and Ed Edwards

P.S. Please pray with us for the completion of the planning and financial support for Zambia 2012.

To Donate, click here.

To see more on last year's Zambia mission:

For more on the Zambian mission, see:

MISSION ZAMBIA JANUARY 2012

2011-11-17T10:35:00.000-06:00

Since undergoing training in Marriage and Family at the Seminar, we resolved to start having similar sessions for couples at our church. We have been having marriage enrichment sessions every Sunday, from June to the end of August, this year. We have begun to see in attendance, even couples who are not members of our church.* Pastor Sostern Banda

I can confess that I didn’t have a proper or effective ministry to the Couples. However, after attending the Seminar, we decided to re-organize our couples’ fellowship in our church. Subsequently, we first gathered thirty married couples. Presently, we are now holding monthly couples’ fellowships. Consequently, we have had three couples added to our church, through the ministry to the couples.* Pastor Gideon Mvula

*quotes from a follow up meeting at the end of August after our June conference

These two pastors express why we continue to go back and train more pastors.

After our last mission trip (June 2011), God spoke to our hearts about doing more work in that area. Our Zambian partner there is very efficient, effective, godly, and influential among the pastors. We had our most fruitful mission trip ever. We believe that the Lord is leading us to return there in January of 2012. We have two goals: 1) to minister more to the ones that we taught last June, and 2) to further investigate other ministry opportunities for a team in June 2012.

Our ministry time will include meeting again with the pastor couples that we taught. We will also do some teaching to men and women separately. We will speak at a Bible college nearby and speak in churches on marriage.

Our time to investigate and prepare for next summer will focus on discerning the best place to conduct our next marriage seminar for pastors, exploring how we can help with a school and children located in a slum in Ndola, opportunities for leadership training, and possible men/women’s conferences.

Since we are not sponsoring a weeklong conference on this mission in January 2012, we are able to keep the costs lower than the usual summer mission. We will meet in churches (at no charge) and will not give away Bibles. Our costs will include transportation (airfare is the largest cost), lodging, food, visas, translators, and teaching materials. Our budget is $7500 for the 13 day trip. We will leave January 5 and return January 18, 2012.

Please pray with us for this upcoming mission. God has ordained this work and called us to it. His mission effort will succeed through the generous support of His people. Please join us as we obey the call and allow Him to work through us in touching many in His Name.

Blessings,
Ed and Donna Edwards

To donate, click here. [All contributions are fully tax-deductible and you will receive a receipt.] For more information about past missions to Zambia, enter "Zambia" into the search box on this page.

NOVEMBER 2011 LETTER - LIVING WELL

2011-11-07T17:11:00.000-06:00

“We aren’t happy anymore.” How many times have we heard that statement?

Happiness is a popular subject in today’s world. People seek it, read about it, demand it. A quick search of books on happiness turns up over 10,000 options. Near the top of the best-seller list is a book by a popular, Christian pastor that includes this phrase in its title, “How to be Happier 7 Days a Week.”

We use idioms such as “a happy camper”, “happy-go-lucky”, “happy as a clam”, “fat and happy.” Marketers capitalized on our desire for happiness by creating “happy hour” and “Happy Meals.”

The Declaration of Independence states “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” Americans have made “the pursuit of Happiness” a priority. Many have moved to the next step of believing and demanding that they have happiness.

The expectation of happiness in this life on earth is a fairly new phenomenon in the history of mankind. Once believed to be something that one attained after leaving this world, the Enlightenment proposed that happiness was “a natural human endowment attainable in theory by every man, woman, and child.” (Happiness, a history by Darrin M. McMahon) In fact, if a person is unhappy, something is wrong.

We now have elevated it to a sense of well-being that we each try to attain and maintain, usually by trying to change something in our circumstances, either people, geography, our looks, or our possessions. Research has shown that only 10% of our “happiness” comes from our circumstances, and those circumstances only bring a temporary change. About 50% of our happiness quotient comes from our genetic make-up, factors that we cannot change. That means that 50% of our sense of well-being can be changed but only 10% has to do with our circumstances. However, we spend most of our life pursuing that 10% change, virtually ignoring the other factors that influence our happiness.

What are those other factors? One of the top factors is being grateful! Scientific research affirms this solution to our sense of well being. This fact is not new news! God told us in His Word thousands of years ago to give thanks and to be grateful. This directive is not just for the optimistic or for the positive thinkers or for leaders or Sunday school teachers - it is for all of us! Expressing gratitude and thankfulness is not only part of what God says is a practice of His children but it is also what brings us to a better place emotionally in our lives. Whatever God shows us to do is the very best for us!

I will give thanks to the LORD because of His righteousness and will sing praise to the name of the LORD Most High…. Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; His love endures forever.

Instead of looking at your mate or your circumstances and dwelling on what is wrong, practice gratitude and thankfulness. Begin a gratitude journal or a prayer list to God about all that is good in your life and in the people around you. As we approach Thanksgiving, we challenge you to express one item of appreciation or thanks to your spouse every day and to eliminate complaints or criticisms for one week and see what happens. Give God a chance to work miracles in your marriage!

We are very thankful that God has provided funds for a new computer for the ministry. We are thankful for the continued prayers and donations of many people. We are asking you to join with us and ask the Lord to raise the shortfall in our monthly budget. As a nonprofit, we operate similar to an incorporated business, except our income is all from donations; we do not sell a product. We receive salaries as employees of the organization. Our salary amount is set by our board of directors. If we do not have enough income to provide for all of our monthly expenses, the only place that we have to cut back is in our salaries. During these times, we do not receive our full salary. We want to continue in the ministry as God has called us; He has promised that He will provide for us.

You are an valuable part of our ministry! We love and appreciate you and your support of what God is doing at Living Well!

Our love in Christ,
Donna and Ed Edwards

LIVING WELL ANNUAL DINNER 2011 part 4

2011-10-19T15:34:00.002-05:00

The people make all the difference - our guests and those who helped behind the scenes.

Our Pastor Bill Hulse

LIVING WELL ANNUAL DINNER 2011 part 3

2011-10-19T15:20:00.001-05:00

A little music to start - Come and See - a worship chorus from Zambia.

LIVING WELL ANNUAL DINNER 2011 part 2

2011-10-19T15:17:00.001-05:00

Cafe Evoke catered our specialty coffees, chai tea, hot chocolate, and other cold drinks.

Superb job!!

LIVING WELL ANNUAL DINNER 2011

2011-10-19T15:13:00.000-05:00

Our annual dinner is a way we thank the people who support the ministry of Living Well through prayers and donation. We also use this opportunity to share with others about who we are and what God is doing through the ministry.

Ed Edwards, President of Living Well, expresses his love through cooking the entire meal from fresh ingredients.

A glimpse at this year's food.

Behind the Scenes at Living Well

2011-10-04T14:13:00.000-05:00

We teach .... we give guidance .... we lead .... we train ..... we go on mission trips.

To do all of that and maintain a nonprofit ministry, a lot goes on behind the scenes. This video is a glimpse of some of what Ed and Donna do behind the scenes at Living Well.

OCTOBER 2011 LETTER - LIVING WELL

2011-10-03T16:33:00.000-05:00

I was done. I was ready to get out of the marriage…… How much longer can I go on? …. A last ditch effort…. They better have a miracle in their pocket….. Realizing how much I had been forgiven…. Why do I deserve to be forgiven but he doesn’t? I need grace everyday just like he does. …. Learning how to not argue, how to resolve our differences. Learning techniques….. Now reconciled after two years of separation.

This testimony of what God has done through Living Well was shared at our dinner. [see the video here]

Guidance given in the first nine months of 2011

Since the beginning of 2011, we have met with 22 couples (multiple appointments each) six of those appointments were for premarital preparation. When couples come to see us, we both meet with them. We ministered to 23 individuals (5 were also in the couple meetings) for a total of 62 different people, representing 40 families. (who have a total of 60 children approximately). Your prayers and support has made a difference for all of these families.

Thank you for our prayers for our annual dinner. We enjoyed seeing everyone and sharing what God has done during the last year and His vision for us for the year to come.

At last year’s dinner, our board presented a budget of about $148,000. Our budgets include all of our ministry expenses including rent, office supplies, printing, staff development (.5%), salaries, payroll taxes, health insurance, Africa missions, and fundraising (1.2%). As you can see, we operate on a very low budget for the amount of ministry that we do. We are the only two staff members. After last year’s dinner, some commented to us that they couldn’t believe that we operated on that small amount. We are thankful for the many donors who make this ministry possible.

Living Well Budget for Fiscal Year
October 2011-Sept 2012

Our income during the last fiscal year was $12,000 less than our budget. Since we operate on a very tight budget, the only expense that we can cut is salaries. We received $1000 less per month salary than our budgeted amount. At our dinner, our board of directors presented our total budget of $164,645 for the coming fiscal year . Our budget includes the same ministry expenses as last year except money for one new computer and a second mission trip to Africa.

We believe that God wants us to focus our mission efforts next year in Zambia again. Our ministry time there last year was very fruitful. Why would we spend 20% of our budget this year on this mission when we aren’t even receiving full salaries? Because of the numbers of lives that we can impact and the receptiveness of those to whom we minister.

During eight days in Zambia last year, we taught over 40 hours and reached about 275 people; 100 of those were pastor couples. The need there is so great in so many areas but they are very responsive to the teaching and willing to follow the Lord. We are now planning to go to Zambia in January of 2012 to minister but also to plan for a larger ministry endeavor for the summer of 2012.

How can we possibly meet this new budget since it is around $28,000 more than we received last year? Only God can make it possible! Please pray with us that He will provide the additional donations so that we can continue in the ministry to which He has called us.

We ask you to pray with us that God, Our Provider, will supply the necessary funds for full salaries and also for an additional computer and mission needs that we have. Please pray our donations increase by $2333/month. We know our mission to see marriages healed and strengthened is close to His hear.

Donations make it possible for us to give guidance to people with their marriages or money management problems, regardless of their income and ability to give. The donations also sustain our work with churches in developing marriage ministries and our Africa missions. You are an valuable part of our ministry! We love and appreciate you and your support of what God is doing at Living Well!

Our love in Christ,
Donna and Ed Edwards

My Memories 10 Years After 9.11

2011-09-11T17:23:00.003-05:00

The overwhelming sadness of that day ten years ago is hard to escape today. 911 was once just an emergency number to call.... now it is a call to a nation in the midst of an emergency.

Traffic, radio talking at me on the way to work, the World Trade Center has been hit by a plane.... a second plane hit..... buildings on fire..... the Pentagon hit by plane.

A sick feeling in the pit of my stomach ..... my thoughts "here we go again." The country is now going through the same thing we went through in Oklahoma City six years ago.... on a much larger scale.

Ten days after the tragedy, our staff at Scope Ministries began to do rotations in NYC, assisting the Billy Graham organization in ministering to NYC. As the first team left and sent me back information on the assignment, I began designing training for our teams and others in the prayer center in lower Manhattan.

My shift was four weeks after the attack. I will never forget the sights, the sounds, and the smells of that time. Soon after arriving, one of our staff took us down to Ground Zero. It was dark, the sight was most intense at night. Even a month later, the fire still burned in the ground. Flakes of ashes, plumes of smoke, acrid smells still filled the air.

The media coverage could not adequately prepare me for the moment. The thick layer of dust over everything near the sight. The smell of the burning rubble. Hundreds of workers, day and night, digging in the pile with machinery until an appearance of anything slightly recognizable. They stopped. People with buckets and shovels went through the debris. Construction workers loaded trucks to carry out the pile.

Fire would flame up, smoke would pour out profusely as fresh oxygen would feed a newly uncovered hot spot. Firefighters doused the fires as heavy equipment operators moved their huge mechanical arms to lift up more steel, more devastation.

I stood on a bridge over a road travelled by the trucks of wreckage to take this smoldering pile to make a new pile on Staten Island. On the island, workers went through the pile to find any small item - a piece of a credit card, a bone, a ring - anything to bring an identity to those lost.

I stood on the top of the Empire State Building just before closing one night. Even miles away, I could see the smoke, the bright lights for the workers, the empty sky above that pile.

In the center where I was working, I talked to New Yorkers who were just living life but were traumatized by their life. One EMT who was not on duty that day; when he went to work the next day, a fellow EMT showed pictures of what he saw while on duty during that awful day. The images would not leave him

A forgotten package in the subway brings the system to a halt. A slight earthquake shakes the nerves of those huddled in their apartments. A routine task of opening the mail took fortitude as the anthrax threat loomed.

New Yorkers staffed the phones at the prayer center where I was working. They would answer and comfort their fellow New Yorkers. When the needs of the caller went beyond their level of comfort, we would assist. One night after the volunteers had left, the phone rang and I answered it while we were gathering our belongings to leave for the night. A trembling voice was on the other end. She wanted comfort, peace, relief from the fear. When I told her that I was from Oklahoma City, she was amazed. It was a God-moment.

New Yorkers instantly felt relieved when we told them where we were from; we knew something of what they were experiencing. They would open up to us in a way they wouldn't with anyone else, but this young woman was taken aback. She grew up in Oklahoma City. She was about my age. Her family in Oklahoma were people of faith, but she had not been a believer. She wanted peace with God through Jesus Christ; she wanted Him. She believed that she had to be aggressive in sharing the gospel because of those that shared the gospel with her, . She wanted Him, but she didn't want to be like them. I prayed with her and encouraged her in her faith.

The streets were busy but not bustling.

The street vendors were still selling, but they were selling Americana.

The Big Apple slowed down but did not stop and did not cease - not that year, not this year.

America remains. God Bless America.

SEPTEMBER 2011 LETTER - LIVING WELL

2011-08-31T14:32:00.000-05:00

Come and see what God has done, how awesome His works in man’s behalf! (Psalm 66:5)

What would happen if we could pull the veil back on people’s lives and see all that God has done?

We would all be amazed! We could not contain our praises for His work on our behalf. Because of confidentiality, we cannot do that with all of His the work through Living Well, but we will give you a glimpse into a few lives at our next annual dinner. Tuesday, September 27th.

One of the tremendous opportunities that God has given us in ministry is teaching young married couples on Sunday mornings. Our goal is to teach them God’s Word in such a way that they have an intimate, personal relationship with Him and with each other. We get to see them grow and develop as followers of Christ, as leaders, and as husbands/wives, dads/moms.

We usually teach a book in the Bible, but, at least once a year, we have a marriage study. We just completed three Sundays on “The Character of Marriage.” We didn’t say the “character I married!” Character qualities are important in a person’s life but also in the substance of a marriage. [see our blog "Living Well in Marriage" for several, recent posts, with more to follow, that have writings on these topics]

We chose three qualities that we consider very important for having a great marriage - commitment, compassion, and courage. Commitment may seem obvious; without commitment it is very hard to go forward. When we meet with couples that is one of the first characteristics that we try to ascertain – what is their level of commitment to strengthen this marriage?

Commitment has to go beyond the commitment to stay married. The commitment to making the marriage great, the commitment to the very best for the other person, and the commitment to pursue God in a personal relationship are all part of the character of marriage.

Compassion includes the feeling of distress when you see another person suffering but also the desire to do something to alleviate the suffering. Marriage without compassion loses heart and can even become abusive. Compassion gets the focus off my hurt and considers the other’s hurt.

Courage is vital in dealing with the tough parts of marriage—the courage to talk about a conflict or disagreement, risking hurt or anger or rejection. Courage says “I may be afraid to bring this up, but, for the sake of the marriage and our relationship, I will talk about it until we can resolve the issue.” Courage can take a good marriage to a higher level. We will have more about compassion and courage in future letter and online.

We continue to get encouraging feedback from our last trip to Zambia. At the end of our conference week, Ed spoke to a men’s group on Saturday. We were both exhausted. He had planned to teach all day. Due to his fatigue, he decided to teach all three lessons in the morning. As he taught that morning, men continued to pour into the church. By the time he finished, at least 100 men were there. After he left, they continued with discussions on the teachings and gave testimonies for several hours. The organizers finally had to tell them to go home. Our friend, who had initiated the conference, came to our hotel that evening to thank Ed and to share the joy of the men for that gathering. We just received an email from a man at that event, “The man to man meeting was very powerful!”

Please pray that the Lord will raise up the donors to continue this ministry. Donations make it possible for us to give guidance to people with their marriages or money management problems, regardless of their income and ability to give. The donations also sustain our work with churches in developing marriage ministries.

You are an valuable part of our ministry! We love and appreciate you and your support of the work God is doing through Living Well!
Our love in Christ,

Donna and Ed Edwards

The water that I will give him will become in him
a well of water springing up to eternal life.
John 4:14b

Living Well Annual Dinner 2011

2011-08-29T13:38:00.000-05:00

Living Well Annual Dinner 2011
6-7:30 dinner and silent auction

coffee bar by Cafe Evoke

7:30 ministry presentation

RSVP by September 20

call: 405.792.2586

email: info@livingwellokc.org

online: facebook

AT: Putnam City Baptist Church

11401 N Rockwell Ave

Oklahoma City

COST: No Charge, Donations are welcome!

My Own Reality

2011-08-09T12:56:00.000-05:00

[follow-up article to previous post "Get Real"]

The belief that one's own view of reality is the only reality is the most dangerous of all delusions. Paul Watzlawick

The beginning of the end ….

It began with one lie.

“You will not surely die,” the serpent said to the woman. Genesis 3:4

Eve believed the lie from Satan. She believed that she could sin and nothing would happen. She believed that God was withholding something good from her. And she believed that the forbidden fruit would satisfy her fleshly needs, her physically longings, and her desire for importance. And so did Adam, who was with her and also ate the fruit.

Once sin became the uniform of life, man and woman joined the deception team with Satan. When God asked Adam if he had eaten the fruit, shame started the blame game, The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.

Transparency and authenticity were discarded for self-protection and self-righteousness. I don’t have stay on that team—God can redeem me!

Appearances can be deceiving ....

How life appears to us and to others can be very different.

For example, children growing up in the same home often have very different views of their parents. Eye witness accounts of the same event can be conflicting.

In a research study, when married couples were asked how long it had been since the last time they had a date together averaging the responses, the wives thought it had been 12 weeks and the husbands thought it was six weeks.

Which is true?

Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth. Marcus Aurelius

Is truth important?

Of course, it is important. But how do I know if what I am seeing or hearing is the truth? Am I letting the truth rule my life or my perceptions rule my life?

I act on what I believe to be true, my view of reality. But I also judge others by what I believe to be true. If “my truth” is based on distorted perspectives, then “my truth” may not be truth at all.

As a person grows up, he will experience emotional pain. As he learns to deal with the pain, he constructs his idea of how life should be lived to avoid pain and have happiness. Those ideas are then put to the test when he enters into adulthood and begins to make decisions on his own.

Part of what most people decide, at some point, is how much they are going to reveal to others of who they are on the inside.

How do I want to appear to others? I reveal only those thoughts, emotions, desires, and dreams that I think will benefit my standing with others.

Children usually tell the unfiltered truth about others but often lie to protect themselves from punishment or disapproval.

One of the hardest things to teach a child is that the truth is more important than the consequences. O. A. Battista

As a follower of Christ, I can rely on the fact that He is Truth. I believe that whatever God wants for me is the very best, even if the consequences of obedience are uncomfortable or even painful at the time.

I am to see God’s truth rather than living by my version of the truth.

God knows my heart and is not deceived by my appearance.

I can come to Him honestly and trust Him to deal with me graciously and lovingly. I can be assured that as I live according to His truth that my life will be more meaningful and my relationships will be healthier.

See part 1 of this post: "Get Real"

HP comes through!

2011-08-06T20:45:00.000-05:00

This post doesn't fit my usual type. But I am so astounded and exicted about the service on my laptop, I have to give a shout-out to HP.
My laptop is still under warranty, had it less than a year. Last Thursday it started making a high-pitched, whining sound and the corner would get hot. Friday, I called HP. They thought it was probably a fan. They ordered a box sent by Fedex. I received the box on Monday. I shipped it to them that afternoon. They received it on Tuesday afternoon. They fixed it on Wednesday and shipped it that day by Fedex. It was delivered on Thursday. We weren't home but we got it on Friday. So, I got it back and fixed within 4 days - only 96 hours without my computer.

Unbelievable! HP you have my business!

Get Real

2011-08-01T15:11:00.001-05:00

Resume’: a written exaggeration of only the good things a person has done in the past, as well as a wish list of the qualities a person would like to have. Bo Bennett

“Authenticity” is a buzz word in the culture today. When analyzing the current, youngest adult generation, people often describe them as people who desire authenticity in others.

Does their desire for authenticity come from living in a world of duplicity, deception, and technological illusions.

Interactions often come in the form of electronic dialogues with someone that we only know through their online personae. We see a picture or video and wonder if it is real or computer generated or photoshop enhanced.

Authenticity is essential in healthy relationships and for a strong marriage. Being authentic begins with getting real with myself.

John Calvin sums up the place where people often find themselves: The human heart has so many crannies where vanity hides, so many holes where falsehood lurks, is so decked out with deceiving hypocrisy, that it often dupes itself.

[Not the real me!]

When we travel, in the hotel bathroom, they often have one of those mirrors with extreme magnification. At my age, it is terrifying to look in that mirror and see the reality of the wrinkles in my skin. So, I choose not to. It doesn’t change the truth though.

I can’t do much about my wrinkles but I can take a close look at my heart and see the truth.

What keeps us from being honest with ourselves? For some, the pain is too great—pride precludes us from admitting that we are in a mess and we don’t know how to get out or that we haven’t done what we know to do.

God knew from the beginning that humans would have a hard time examining their own hearts. The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; Who can understand it? Jeremiah 17:9 (NAS)

But I can go before him and say Test me, O LORD, and try me, examine my heart and my mind. Psalm 26:2 (NIV)

He will show me the truth about my life. He will also show me the truth about His love for me. He will give me His presence and power to grow to be more like Him.

ASK AROUND .....

A lie consists in speaking a falsehood with the intention of deceiving. Augustine

One problem with being deceptive is that eventually we may even be honest with ourselves. How do we know if we have reached that point?

ASK OTHERS

It takes courage to ask those who know you best. Then, even more courage to admit it to yourself and ask the Lord to change you.

Give your spouse, your parents, your adult children, your closest friends permission to tell you the truth about your character and your authenticity.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV)

ASK YOURSELF

Do I often have broken relationships?
Do other people doubt what I say or not trust my word?
Do I blame others for what is wrong in my life?
Do I have overdue bills or creditors calling me?
Do I ignore others criticisms of me or justify destructive behavior?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, examine your heart. Ask God to show you if you are really being honest with yourself. He will lovingly guide you to the truth.

For more on this topic, read our next post.

AUGUST 2011 LETTER - LIVING WELL

2011-07-28T22:13:00.000-05:00

Summer blazes on! We pray that you are able to stay cool in this dry, hot weather.

We are back into our routine, meeting with couples, planning for the fall. We have seen a notable difference in appointments this summer. We usually see a slow down in new appointments over the summer, but we have had lots of calls for new appointments since we returned from Africa. Once again, our marriage counseling appointment times are almost full. We still have openings for people who need financial counseling.

We are starting several classes during the next month or two. We are starting a new financial class, Spending Money: The Go(o)d Way. Everyone likes to spend money but we don’t always know the good way (God’s way) to spend it. The class will meet on Thursday evenings, August 25-September 29 (six weeks), from 7-8:30, at our office. [details]

For our fall Preparing for Marriage class this year, we are going to teach it a little differently. We will still cover 8 lessons but we will do two lessons each evening and meet for two hours at a time. This will enable couples to finish the class in a shorter time but still get all of the information to help them begin their lifetime journey together. The class will meet Mondays, September 12^th & 19^th, October 3^rd& 10^th, from 7-9 pm at our office. [details]

We will also be leading a marriage class at our church on Sunday nights starting August 21^st.

We are looking forward to sharing more about what God is doing through our ministry at our annual dinner on Tuesday, September 27^th, this year. Save that date!

Our ministry in Africa continues to multiply. We recently received this email from Malawi. The pastor who is writing had met with our translator in Tanzania, Nickson Kalinga.

My name is Shikunzi Mgaya, a Tanzanian by nationality, serving in God in Malawi….

I got married last of last year to Peggy, she is a wonderful wife and a partner that I am proud of…. I knew about your Ministry through Pastor Nickson Kalinga, who happened to be a very close friend of mine and mentor too. I had a small challenge with my wife, basically I was too busy with Ministry and had very little time with my wife.

We decided to travel to Dar and meet Kalinga. Sincerely, I was helped by him and discovered how far I was from my family roles duties. Kalinga introduced me to your materials on marriage and family life as a Christian. Indeed I have been empowered so much, and revived. Those materials are so precious and full of life. He went with me step by step.

I intend to have a leadership meeting in Malawi the first week of September. Pastor Kalinga will be ministering with me, and the best part of this is that we will be using your material.

For more pictures and testimonies from our last mission trip, see our mission page. A new area on our website is about men’s ministry. Ed has had the opportunity to speak on several occasions to men’s groups; more details are provided on the web.

Summers are hard for most nonprofit ministries and churches - costs stay the same but donations drop. We are experiencing the summer slump as well. Please pray that the Lord will raise up the donors to continue this ministry. Donations make it possible for people to see help with their marriages or money management problems, regardless of their income and ability to give. They also sustain our work with developing marriage ministries in churches.

You are an valuable part of our ministry here and in Africa. We love and appreciate you and your support of the work God is doing through Living Well!

Our love in Christ,

Donna and Ed Edwards

VOWS

2011-07-08T11:54:00.001-05:00

Wedding vows - do we take them for granted?

Do we forget the vow we made to each other and to God?

As we work with couples or individuals in crisis, I sometimes think that they have totally lost sight of their vows. A "vow renewal" time reminds us of those vows.

As the end of our week-long teaching on marriage at the Pastoral Family Enrichment Conference in Ndola, Zambia, we did a vow renewal ceremony. For most Africans, this ceremony is a new experience. We provide a certificate to them with the words; we have them repeat after us as they go through it. After the ceremony, we have lunch and have a wedding cake for them to celebrate the ceremony.

Some of those who were there, admitted that they had never made vows before, even at their wedding. Others enjoyed the "wedding celebration" - some had never had that for their marriage, even in the beginning.

The vows remind us of our commitment to the Lord and to each other and of the great place of honor that God has bestowed on marriage.

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For more on the Zambian mission, see:

JULY 2011 LETTER - LIVING WELL

2011-06-30T14:12:00.000-05:00

“We have already started enjoying the fruits of that Seminar. My wife and I, are already living in Paradise. May I report to you that our marriage is and has never been the same up to this point I am writing to you. Just after the Seminar, I had to immediately organize the married couples of our Church. On Sunday the 5th of June, 2011, we had a decisive and successful meeting. We resolved as a Church, to have a Marriage and Family enrichment program, starting from this June up to July, 2011. Once again, we thank you Ed and Donna for the material you gave us. We promise to make full use of it. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you, Ed and Donna; Phil 4:23.” Sostern Banda, pastor

Joy to our hearts! And answers to your investment of prayers in this mission. Thank you!

We received this testimony upon our return along with the report from the ALARM - Zambia office. This mission endeavor exceeded our expectations! ALARM country director, Charles Mwila Mutambala, did an excellent job of planning and preparing for the conference. We planned for 50 couples, we had at least 53 couples. We asked for pastors and spouses to come together and they did, almost 100% attended with their spouse. They were consistent and attentive. They appreciated everything we taught and the gifts we brought. We bring small gifts for each of them, which we use as visual aids for them to remember teaching points. We also give them a 100 page notebook and study Bibles. Charles added his response in the report:

“As ALARM-Zambia, we expect Living Well Ministries to have nationwide impact among the ministers in the Zambian Church. The Lord willing, there would be great need to take this important ministry to Zambia’s Capital city, Lusaka, during the same time, next year. If it were possible, we would suggest that the number of participants be increased from fifty married couples to about a hundred. Besides, we would further suggest that two mission trips per year, from Living Well ministries would impact the Zambian Church significantly.”

The pastors in Ndola speak English well, which made it more enjoyable to dialogue with them and facilitated more opportunity for feedback. We had them write down how God had changed their lives through the conference. (see some of their responses here) We also gave them an opportunity to write questions for us (anonymously). Men use blue cards, women use pink—so, all we know is their gender. Some of the questions are answered during our teachings, some are addressed separately, some will be addressed during a follow-up conference by the ALARM staff. You can read some of the questions they asked here; it also gives you a good view of the challenges faced there.

Ed preached at an international church (some Africans, some from India and other countries) on the Sunday before the conference started on Monday. Then we split the teaching times each day. By the end of the week, we were very tired!

Then, Ed had a one-day men’s conference scheduled for Saturday. What were we thinking??? The Lord enabled him to teach that Saturday in a condensed format. Rather than doing three, full, one-hour sessions over an all-day format (interspersed with worship and testimonies), he taught all three sessions straight through and was finished with his part by noon. The men stayed and discussed his points and shared their testimonies on overcoming sexual temptations and being godly husbands and fathers. The organizers came by to see us that evening and shared how meaningful the time was to 100+ men who were present.

Logistically, all went well—we made all flights connections, we had no lost bags, adequate accommodations and food. And we didn’t get sick! We took some time to rest before our return. After coming home, we had one day of recovery and back to work! Then we spent a week receiving training in Dallas.

You are an valuable part of our ministry here and in Africa. We love and appreciate you and your support of the work God is doing through Living Well!

Our love in Christ,

Donna and Ed Edwards

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For more on the Zambian mission, see:

Anniversary Celebration

2011-06-30T12:13:00.001-05:00

We had a wonderful day! June 2nd was our 38th anniversary and they had quite a celebration for us. At lunch, they had a beautiful flower arrangement. Then they had a procession of women as they all sang "Come and See."

They presented us with a cake, a bouquet of red roses, cards, and gifts. Then they had us stand and let everyone come by in a receiving line to shake our hands and give their greetings. They certainly know how to celebrate! They are very gracious.

At this hotel, they have their own band that plays, usually in the evening. When they heard about the size of our group at lunch, they started playing at lunch, for tips. On Wednesday, they sang and played John Denver's "Country Road." Very interesting to hear it sung with an African accent! But we really enjoyed it. Our hosts saw our delight and made sure they sang it again for our anniversary celebration.

We had a pastor and his wife sit with us at lunch on our anniversary. They had both been married before but have been married to each other for 41 years. He confessed how he and his wife had argued and would say bad things to each other - even saying, "I know now why your first husband left you." They talked about how much our teaching had helped them.

For dinner, our hosts took us to an Indian restaurant, owned by one of their church members. We have not eaten Indian food very often. The owner made suggestions for us; they had too many options for us to choose. We enjoyed all of the dishes they served.

At dinner, we learned about our host, Rev. Charles Mwila - his time of study in the U.S. and his participation in writing a new constitution for Zambia. Very sharp guy! And a real man of God and gracious host.

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For more on the Zambian mission, see:

Ndola Pastors Express Appreciation

2011-06-29T20:58:00.000-05:00

PASTORS AND WIVES MARRIAGE ENRICHMENT CONFERENCE

ORGANIZED BY ALARM — ZAMBIA AND LIVING WELL MINISTRIES

VOTE OF THANKS

On behalf of my fellow conference participants, I would like to take this moment to sincerely thank Ed and Donna Edwards for the wonderful teachings.

We haven’t just gone through the teachings, but the teachings have gone through us as we have been admonished in the last Five (5) days.

As a result, the teachings will impact us greatly in two (2) ways:

1. In our Marriages: We will stop enduring our marriages, but we will start enjoying our marriages.

2. We will be more informed (Marriage) teachers and counselors in our churches

COMMENTS:

I would like to comment that the Clarity of speech, Conviction and Simplicity you exhibited was excellent to us.

Your accent as well was clear to us, bearing in mind that most former British Colonies like Zambia find it hard to understand American English. Also on this, Ed and Donna you have been excellent to us.

LESSONS:
Many lessons have been learnt during this conference.

One of them, for me, includes: The fact that Eve was not the one to blame for what happened in the Garden of Eden. I have always thought and believed that Eve was the one to blame for eating the forbidden fruit which brought about sin, death and suffering in the whole world. But in this conference, I have learnt that “God spoke to Adam first that he should not eat the forbidden fruit even though it was Eve who was the first one to eat the fruit. Meaning that Adam was responsible for all that took place and the resulting consequences because Adam was a leader — who received God’s command."

I will now stop blaming Eve, women & my lovely wife. This will also help us as participants to change the notion which has been in the minds of many people in Zambia. For example, a circular musician sung a song which said in part in one of our languages — ‘Bemba_' that: ”Wamona Eva, Naine wine cine nka fwa, iye wayo...” meaning; "You see now Eve, because of you, me too I will die one day...". Therefore as participants in this conference, we are more informed on matters like this one and will go and correct such wrong notions in our churches and communities.

Fellowship:
The fellowship among Pastors and wives has been wonderful. I want to admit as Secretary of Ndola Christian Ministers’ Fellowship (NCMF) that we as NCMF have never brought Pastors with their wives for a long time in this manner. Let us clap for Ed & Donna and ALARM Zambia for the job well done.

Food:

The food here at Savoy hotel has been very good. We have not only enjoyed the fellowship, but the ‘swallowship’ as well.

Gifts:

On behalf of my fellow participants, I would Iike to THANK Ed & Donna for the Ball points (Pens), Arm Bands, Teaching Materials, Marriage & Attendance Certificates, Bibles, just to mention a few.

Ed & Donna, we have already started missing you. We have enjoyed your warm and sweet spirit. You are sincere, humble, and practical. It is sad for us that today is the last day, but all the more, we pray that the Lord shall continue to be with you even as you travel back to the USA.

I will also be failing in my duties if I forgot to acknowledge the good work of the host of this conference, i.e.; Rev Charles Mwila, His wife and together with the members of staff of ALARM Zambia. I want to admit that the organization of this conference has been excellent. Please, keep it up.

In closing, I want to mention one of our local language proverbs which says that “Do not thank the king too much with so many words, or else you will end up insulting him”

With this remark in mind, I end Vote of Thanks.

Thank you.

Presented on June 2011 at Savoy Hotel by:
Bernard H. Hanamwanza (Pastor)
Conference Participaht / NCMF Secretary

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For more on the Zambian mission, see:

Their Words

Questions, Questions

Ndola, Zambia, Family Enrichment Conference

Conference in Ndola, Zambia

Conference Begins

THEIR WORDS

2011-06-28T10:41:00.002-05:00

Since this group of Zambian pastors/spouses knew English, we ask them to write out for us how God had been at work in them during the week. They didn't have to sign their names. We are including pictures but they do not correspond to the testimonies.

God has changed my life in this way:
(spelling and wording are their own)

“Before this seminar started or was even announced to me, I was planning to leave my wife because things were hard. I was not getting along with my wife on daily basis. The situation changed when me and my wife attended the seminar. God has changed my life. My wife and I believe through His grace, I and my wife shall not be the same.”

-------

“My house is completely healed through this conference. I’ve learnt a lot of things which I never came across in my life. We need more again.”

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“God teaches me to be faithful to my wife. My marriage passed through hardship, I was not faithful to my wife but this time I sat down with my wife and I openly apologize to her for my behavior. Praise God I am a changed person.”

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“To me it is God fulfilled mission and touching the Father’s heart—absolutely a breakthrough—saved, delivered, restored and revived again. Almost lost my marriage due to being busy with the ministry and yet I was burning out and stress up. My life saved and my marriage refreshed. God bless you, Edwards. I never forget this glorious refreshing.”

-----

“It can be difficult sometimes to strike a balance between our cultural beliefs and principles with Biblical principles. This conference has helped me know better because Ed and Donna made a Biblically sound presentation that was eye opening.

I also feel much conversant and well equipped to help other marriages teaching them what I have learnt and also making use of the written materials that have been used in this training.

I thank God, Donna and Ed, as well as all the Living Well partners and supporters for this great and rare privilege that has so blessed my heart. God bless you all, Thank you!”

-----

“I never used to have time for my wife and children. I tell you from now on I will be a good husband and a good father as well as a good pastor. Ed and Donna you are a bless, God has used you to change my life. I pray that He Almighty God will continue to shower His blessing on you and all the people supporting this precious ministry.” -----

“I built a very strong wall between my wife and I. Every time an argument arose I ran out of the house and came back after hours just to sleep. But now, that wall was broken the very day Ed and Donna spoke to me about the need to tackle arguments by allowing each person to express themselves.

I am more interested to hear my wife speak and I have learnt a lot from her. My marriage will never be the same again after going through the seminar.”

-----

“This seminar has exposed dark spots in my married life. Consequently, it has placed on me, the personal responsibility to take action, with the view of allowing God to effect corrections in my life.

This seminar has availed my wife and I, and open opportunity, to interact forthrightly, with truth regarding the hidden areas in our relationships, which we could never address or face up to, without a deep verbal or emotional confrontation.”

-----

Praise God for the work He did in the hearts of the people!

For more on the Zambian mission, see:

Questions, Questions

Ndola, Zambia, Family Enrichment Conference

Conference in Ndola, Zambia

Conference Begins

Questions, Questions

2011-06-27T13:50:00.000-05:00

Everyone, regardless of the culture, has questions about marriage. We learn the most from letting people ask questions.

Part of our approach, when teaching in Africa, is to give people at our conferences a chance to ask questions anonymously. We do ask the men to use blue index cards and the women to use pink ones, so that at least we know the gender of the person asking.

The problems in marriage are the basically the same everywhere in the world, but different cultures, even different groups in the culture, deal with different circumstances. We get a glimpse of what is on the mind of the participants through these questions.

Here is a sampling from this year's conference in Ndola, Zambia (all are pastors or their spouses):

From Women -

Divorce is a sin but some believers do it. Why?

When a man sees only problems in you, never a complement.

Talk about impotency which causes a lot of problems in marriage.

Is it good for a man of God [pastor] to use bad word telling the wife that you are a bondage to me?

Is it good for your husband to shout at you in the presence of his family?

What help can you give to a pastor who beats his wife and calls her a prostitute?

What advice can you give a pastor who leaves his family without food or money to feed on and goes to pray and fast for 40 days and expect God to provide them?

Why is that wives (some) don't show their payslips to their husbands and the money?

Why is it that wives find it difficult to tell the husband that they want sex?

From Men -

You are a pastor and your wife does not like going for church, what can you do?

When a couple (born-again) divorce after one of them back-slides, can the one who remains a believer remarry or not? If not, why shat one suffer for the sin of the other?

How do you help a wife who keeps on being poor with time keeping despite all your talk for years?

Is there any reason for divorce?

Is it advisable for a pastor’s wife to befriend a prostitute, can’t this send the wrong words to the public?

Are there things I should not tell my spouse (secrets)? Do I tell my spouse everything even those I know will hurt her?

If we do not agree, husband and wife, does the husband have the final say on a matter?

What is the great secret of a happy home?

Can I marry [as a pastor] a believer to a non-believer?

Is there any reason for divorce?

How can you know that I am marrying the right person?

What is the impact on public once they know the pastor's shortfalls at his own home?

How do you help those getting married to same sex, man to man, woman to woman?

When answering questions, especially in a different culture, we ask the participants to answer before we give any answer.

They need to know that they can learn from each other, that they have wisdom in their group, and that they do not have to look to white, westerners for the answers. If appropriate, we will give our view after they give their answers.

Ndola, Zambia, Pastoral Family Enirchment Conference

2011-06-19T21:22:00.001-05:00

Pastoral Family Enrichment Conference

Living Well partnered with ALARM Zambia

May 30-June 3, 2011

An "unofficial" group picture. We had a hard time finding a place at the hotel big enough to get the whole group. We were still trying to get organized for the picture at this point. It's easy to spot Donna and Ed!

The sun is soooo bright there on a clear day! We had a great group, about 120 altogether. I am not sure they are all visible in this picture.

Nairobi

2011-06-12T11:04:00.001-05:00

A city of contrasts, Nairobi - beautiful flowers and lots of traffic. The beginning of the end for our trip. We leave from here in a few hours for the long journey home. This picture of me is today, when I am fresh and rested. There will be no pictures of what I look like when get home. I am having a cappuccino, reading a NY Times Digest, and chilling out.

Sometimes, it feels like paradise here, within the confines of gardens and lush vegetation.

Ed is perusing the "birds of paradise."

In paradise, it can rain and have sunshine at the same time (picture at right). We have had rain around 4 or 5 every afternoon. Sometimes, it just rains for an hour but last night it rained for several hours.

Outside the gardens, we spend a lot of time in lots of traffic!

Yesterday, right after we left the elephant orphanage, it started pouring rain. We were caught in a lot of traffic. I caught this shot of a cemetery through the rain and the fence.

The Africans are great at improvising and entrepreneurship. As we were driving in the rain and getting stuck in the traffic, we spotted this car wash. Yes, people were getting their car washed in the rain. In the past, most car washes we have seen are simply a bucket of water, a rag, and elbow grease.

But this one has a large water tank and high pressure hoses. They take the seats out of the car (notice in the first picture, the seats on the ground in the rain), then they squirt water into the car with the high pressure hose (see the second picture, the silver car in the background).

With Ed's background in the construction industry, we are always curious about construction techniques. Nairobi has lots of construction going on and many of them work seven days a week. We saw this Westin Hotel going up (seriously, it is).

We will miss this part of God's wonderous creation and His children in this part of the world. They have both been good to us; He has blessed us beyond anything we could ask or imagine..... but we are looking forward to our own bed, our own shower, a Little Mike's burger ..... our family and our friends.

We are so grateful for your prayers as we start home.

Conference in Ndola, Zambia

2011-06-11T05:10:00.001-05:00

We had the best attendance and most attentive group that we have ever had on any of our trips. They received the message with great interest. Many things that we teach are against their cultural values, but they are very committed to the Lord. They receive the teaching because they recognize that everything we teach is Biblical.

In their culture, men dominate women. Men make the decisions and don’t consult their wives. A husband doesn’t tell his wife how much money he has; he just gives her money when he wants her to have some. She doesn’t know where it came from or how much he might have. One pastor who had been at our 2006 seminar there admitted that he practiced that with his money. He said he was going to change in that regard.

We give them a chance to write questions anonymously. We just ask that the men use blue cards and the women use pink cards. One wife asked what a wife was to do when her husband went away for 40 day fast and prayer. He didn’t leave her any money to feed the family and said that the Lord would supply what she needed. Also, one wife asked about whether it is okay for her husband to beat her.

Their culture allows a man, even a pastor, to beat his wife and children. Many wives know that is not right. But some believe that her husband doesn’t love her if he doesn’t beat her. This belief is not held by everyone but it is very common.

They also believe that a wife should bear a son and if she doesn’t then she may be rejected. Or sometimes the parents of the husband encourage him to find another wife. One wife at our conference had 4 daughters. Her husband was very understanding; he told her that they didn’t need a son. She said to him that she thought that she had a boy inside of her. So, they had one more child and it was a son!

At the end we had them write something about how God had changed their lives during the conference. Two people admitted that they were planning on leaving their spouses before they began our conference, but now they had changed their minds and were going to work on their marriages. One pastor admitted that he was very irritable at home but now he was being nice to his wife and they had a new marriage already.

We will share more testimonies soon. Thank you for your prayers, rejoice in the Lord with us over what He has done in Ndola, Zambia.

Conference begins

2011-05-30T12:41:00.000-05:00

We just realized that today is a holiday there. Hope you all enjoy your day off.

The conference started this morning. As usual with "African time", everyone was a little late. We have learned to make allowances for that in our schedule. Our host spoke to them several times about being on time tomorrow. We have noticed that as Africans become more cosmopolitan, they are intent on being more efficient and punctual.

We had a full house, a great group. Sometimes we have some pastors who come without their wives, but our host had limited registration to couples. So, we had couples and they sat together without being asked to do that.

Ed taught on the priorities of the pastor and we included a case study of "Pastor John" who was so involved in ministry that he neglected his wife. Many of them admitted to being a "Pastor John."

I caused quite an uproar when I was teaching about the fall in the garden from Genesis 3. This happens every time we teach it in Africa. We show them that Adam was the one whom God held accountable for the first sin. One older pastor argued that point. I read the passage again. He continued to argue about it. I asked one of the other pastors to read the passage. They all agreed that it was true. After we were finished and had a time of discussion, the pastor brought it back up again. So, we read Romans 5. He became convinced.

After the discussion time, we had a time that they could testify about what God was saying to them. One of the older pastors stood up and talked about how much God was speaking to him about the need to continue to grow and learn about Him and about marriage and family. He said that those are areas that he can grow all of his life.

We were very encouraged by all of their responses. We also got to see a few people who attended our conference here five years ago. It's always fun to renew those relationships.

Thanks again for all of you prayers.

In Ndola, Zambia

2011-05-29T12:09:00.000-05:00

We had good flights to Africa. We arrived late on Friday night in Nairobi. We slept a few hours and got up to go to Ndola.

After arriving in Ndola, our hosts brought us to our hotel. All of the ALARM staff was here to meet us. Charles, the director, also had his 4 children here here. Two of the girls had bouquets of flowers for us.

Charles knows on the asst managers here, a Christian man. They upgraded our room to a suite (we use that term loosely). The best part of that is that we have two bathrooms. The rooms are adequate. I would describe our hotel room as an old, unmaintained Motel 6. We have internet here but I think the signal is too weak to pick up in our room. We have to go to the lobby to pick it up and even then, it doesn't always work. We tried earlier to get on but couldn't.

We were very tired when we got here. After everyone left, we were able to rest for a good while. We are still adjusting to the time change. We both woke up about 3:00 am this morning and not able to go back to sleep.

They filled all the spots for the conference a week ago, with more wanting to come. We gave them the okay to add 10 more couples. They were very encouraged because of the people who remembered us from 2006 and thought we had such good teaching. We are anxious to meet some of them again and see what God has done.

Ed preached today at Charles' church, The House of Prayer. It's an international church with a lot of Asian Indians. It was very interesting. The pastor is from India and many of the congregation, but they also have Africans and some ex-pats from different countries.

Ed had a very good response to his message. He taught on giving Jesus our gift of worship. They do their services in English, so he didn't have to have an interpreter. So, his message was shorter than he had planned and was able to add some good illustrations. When we use interpreters, the message doubles in length.

We are always encouraged by their praise time, they are very heartfelt in their worship. Because of the international membership, their worship was not as demonstrative as most African worship experiences. But we really enjoyed it.

We are looking forward to beginning the conference tomorrow!

Will write more when we can connect again to the internet.
Thanks for your prayers. Love, Donna and Ed

JUNE 2011 LIVING WELL Letter

2011-05-25T22:03:00.000-05:00

Are you ready to go? Are you packed yet?

The questions come out first when we see someone. Yes, we are ready to go ….. And we just finished packing.

We are always ready to go to Africa, whether we are packed or not! God prepared our hearts many years ago. If someone had called a week ago and said, “we need you to go early, can you leave tomorrow?” without a doubt, our answer is yes, we can go.

How do we prepare for a trip to Africa? We have spent the last 12 years preparing. First, God touched our hearts. Then, He began to teach us about the people of east Africa, what their particular needs are—their spiritual needs and their physical needs. He taught us even more about our own spiritual needs through them. He taught us about worshipping Him, about being gracious, about how much we need Him. Teaching a dramatically different culture is something that we can’t do with our own resources; we must depend on Him to lead, guide, and speak through us. We learn to eat food that we have never eaten before. We have learned that we can even get malaria and live through it.

God did a great work since our last letter—He provided all of the funds we needed! We have never had our funding completed this early. The study Bibles and the notebooks, which we shipped, have all arrived in Zambia! We are praying still that the team on the ground in Ndola will be able to work out all the details of the conference and that God will draw the pastor/couples to the conference.

In preparing for a mission trip, besides preparing notebooks, we have many other items we take besides our clothes. Some of the things we assemble to take with us for the conference:

visual aids (vases, colored sand, marbles, wood balls, boxes, artificial roses, paper hearts, photo chemicals, iodine, clear plastic glasses, construction paper, alka selzer),
gifts for participants (writing pens with flashlights, rubber bracelets with “perfect gift” embossed),
gifts for longest/shortest marriages and translators (audio Bibles),
gifts for hosts and African teams (Bible study aids, and other items).

We also have personal items that we take, which we don’t usually take on a teaching trip, such as toilet paper, small packets of tissue, bug spray, lotion with bug repellent in it, rain suit, luggage scales, malaria medicine (and many other meds for special situations), snacks, electrical convertors, long skirts, lots of SD cards and DV tapes, three cameras, and every airplane comfort accessory we can find!

We have a set curriculum and a similar procedure that we go through for each mission. However, each trip, each area, has it’s own uniqueness.

This trip is different in these ways:

We are returning to the same city we ministered in 2006
Ed will teach a one-day men’s seminar after our week of teaching (he will teach or preach 7 days in a row)
we will stay at the same venue as the one where we will be teaching
we are flying through Brussels (a new airport for us)
and no one else is going with us.

The area has these characteristics:

very high rate of HIV/AIDS
much focus on the sexual relationship in marriage
many men involved with pornography
good English language skills
and more educated people

Please see our prayer request and itinerary card here. We value and appreciate your prayers. We are always concerned about the couples that we see at our office here. We pray that they will all stay on their paths of reconciliation while we are gone. God has done some amazing work over the last few months in several couples’ lives. We ask for prayers for ongoing support while we are gone.

We love and appreciate you and your support of the work God is doing through Living Well!

May the Lord bless you in your relationship to Him.

Our love in Christ,
Donna and Ed Edwards

My Mother

2011-05-06T23:02:00.001-05:00

Me and Mother (she was about 26)

Here it is .... almost Mother's Day, almost six months after losing my mother from this world. I started writing this months ago, but couldn't finish. Maybe now, I can add to it. Here's where I started ....

Today is my mother's birthday, January 24. Exactly 10 weeks ago, I watched her pass from my presence to His. I am asking Jesus to give her a hug for me. Love you, Mom.

I knew that day, 10 weeks ago, I knew that someday I would write my thoughts about her. I will try to paint some words for others to know her too. She was truly beyond description. My words will be snapshots, not a panorama.

My mother, Ruby, was the 9th of 11th children, but the other 10 would tell you that she always acted like she was an only child. Not that she wasn't close to her siblings; they are all close. But she got a lot of the attention of her family. Actually, she was the center of attention any time she walked into a room.

She was born at the beginning of the depression and dust bowl days of Oklahoma. Even though her family didn't have much more than the basic, physical necessities of life, they were rich in relationships - lots of love and support permeated the Ferguson clan ... and still does. Amidst those conditions, Mother always had an eye for nice things, very good taste. She passed on to me a love for the beautiful things in life.

Ruby was the perfect name for her - she loved red, whether it was her lipstick and fingernail polish, or her clothes, or the decor of her home. Ruby, Ruby, Ruby. She even started dying her hair red. She said she did it to match the color of my kids' hair.

Mother would have loved to be an actress or singer or model, something on center stage. But she wanted a family even more. She did everything she could to get my sister and I to take up the quest. For those who know me or Sherry, you know that we aren't center-stage people. I wonder if it would even be possible, we always seemed invisible compared to Mom. She was beautiful and vibrant. No one could compete with her presence.

Mom had to be one of the warmest women a person would ever meet. She made everyone feel special, she would just wrap her arms around you as she talked and suddenly you were enraptured. She was always inclusive, never exclusive, when it came to people. She didn't give birth to a son, but that didn't matter. Our husbands became her "sons-in-love," no in-laws or out-laws at our house.

Mother (57), Jacquelyn, Laura

Her love never ran out, it just multiplied. She loved her kids. She loved her GRANDchildren.
She decided that was the role that God had made her for. She spent time with them, took them to the park, made cookies with them, played tea party, each one thought he/she was the favorite grandchild.

Zac and Mom (76)

She lavished gifts on those she loved or anyone in her path. She was stopped for speeding one time, not far from home, and had a couple of quarts of fresh strawberries in her car - so she gave them to the policeman. I am pretty sure he escorted her home rather than giving her a ticket. Every where I turn in my house, every drawer I open, behind every closet door, are reminders of Mom. If she saw something she liked or thought we would like, she would buy several, made sure we all had at least one of this new favorite find.

After growing up in rural Oklahoma during the depression and WWII, she knew that education was the way up and out. She drilled into us the importance of reading, doing well in school. We never questioned whether we would go to college, it was just where we would go - even though she never went beyond high school. She read a lot to us, but rarely read for her own pleasure. My sister and I both love reading to this day. She would say that the only book she read all the way through was the Bible, but that was enough.

I never had any doubts about my own capabilities. She would not allow my sister or I to say "I can't do ____ ". She would say, "you may not be able to right now but you can do it someday." I thought I could do anything; it was a real shock to me when I learned that I probably couldn't do everything and anything. Her love and encouragement gave me a confidence and security that most people never have.

We have had a lot of holidays and birthdays in the last six months. Each one has been hard, because Mother made every holiday a celebration. Actually, every time we were doing anything together was a celebration. She passed away the day after my 60th birthday. She had been in the hospital for almost a month. She was very sick, but she made sure that Jacquelyn bought me something for my birthday from her.

She loved to cook. She took up gourmet cooking after my sister and I were grown. She taught me that if you can read, you can cook. Our meals were lavish and abundant. She rarely sat down, she was constantly serving us.

Most of all she taught me to love Jesus. We always went to church. But it wasn't just something we did, she really lived it and believed with all her heart. It is important ... the most important quality to impart to your children.

Mom wasn't perfect, but she was exceptional. I hope to honor her and her Lord with my life. I am seeking to make her godly qualities more and more a part of my life. I will try not to grieve her absence as my mother but to focus on being the mother and grandmother that she taught me to be.

My Father who art in heaven, I know you hear me. Tell her I love her and I miss her.

MAY 2011 LIVING WELL Letter

2011-04-28T11:57:00.000-05:00

Have we heard enough about the royal wedding between William and Kate yet?

Their wedding launches the spring “wedding season.” Brides-to-be are either in the thick of preparation or are in the final days before the wedding day. Bridal magazines present endless possibilities for the big event. The wedding has become such an expensive day that the trend is increasing among low-income couples to skip the wedding and marriage completely, because they think that they can’t afford to get married.

Rebecca Mead, author of One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding, was quoted in an article as saying, “Vows, which is the trade magazine of the wedding dress industry, had an article about how to market to the ‘nontraditional bride’ and warned readers that this kind of woman is dangerously apt to ‘forget the wedding and prepare for marriage.’ People who work in the wedding business often appear to be very warm and sentimental, but they're salespeople, and the successful ones are completely coldblooded about it.”

If every prospective bride and groom seriously investigated the purpose of marriage and of weddings, both weddings and marriages would change. These articles give some ideas to consider before the wedding—in the planning, for increasing the odds of success, financial status, and even the parents - Wedding Season and Those Left Behind.

Mother’s Day is around the corner, our first one without my (Donna) mother. My mother was a very important influence in my life. As I have thought about what she imparted to me, so much comes to my mind. Anyone who knew my mother saw her love, her warmth, her generosity, and her desire to make every event in life a celebration. She gave me an enormous amount of security with her unconditional love, but also showing me what it meant that God loved me. She always believed in me, told me that I could do anything. It was a great shock to me to realize that were some things I would never be able to do. Through that encouragement, she gave me confidence. Even though she was raised during the depression and war in rural Oklahoma, the 9th of 11 children, she recognized the value of education. She pushed me and my sister to read and do well in school; consequently, both of us love to read and to learn. Mother said the only book she ever finished was the Bible, but I think that was enough. She had an eye for nice things after growing up with the basic physical necessities. She taught me about the beauty in life. She even taught me how to take care of her in her last days after I watched her devotion, love, and care for her own mother 30 years ago. My prayer is that I can do as well as she did in being a mother and grandmother. I recently read this from an unknown author, “The death of a mother is the first sorrow wept without her.” I thank you for your prayers during this time.

We are about 30 days from leaving for Zambia. We are still awaiting word that the notebooks and study Bibles, which we shipped a few weeks ago, have arrived. Please pray for their safe delivery there! (see info and video about this mission trip)

As we write this letter, we have received a little over 80% of the funds for our mission trip. We praise God for what we have received. Please pray with us for the remaining amount ($3,875). We have to send the balance of our funds to ALARM, our African partner ministry, by May 5.

And please continue to pray for the preparations in Zambia, that God will bring men and women committed to strengthen marriages according to God’s Word. We know that He wants to do a great work to change the hearts and minds of the people in Ndola, Zambia.
We love and appreciate you and your support of the work God is doing through Living Well!

May the Lord bless you in your relationship to Him.

Our love in Christ,

Donna and Ed Edwards

P.S. Please pray that the Lord will provide all that is needed for our mission to Zambia.

April 2011 LIVING WELL Letter

2011-04-06T17:08:00.000-05:00

And I will make you my promised bride forever. I will be good and fair; I will show you my love and mercy. (Hosea 2:19).

The Bible has a simple story. God made man. Man rejected God. God won’t give up until He wins him back. God will whisper. He will shout. He will touch and tug. He will take away our burdens; He’ll even take away our blessings. If there are a thousand steps between us and Him, He will take all but one. But He will leave the final one for us. The choice is ours. Please understand. His goal is not to make you happy. His goal is to make you His. His goal is not to get you what you want; it is to get you what you need. (emphasis mine, excerpt from A Gentle Thunder by Max Lucado)

The walk down the aisle of a wedding—the father brings the bride to the bridegroom. He is anxiously waiting for her. The groom sought her out, courted her, and proposed. The bride made the choice to receive his love and to receive him. We see the picture as we attend weddings. The picture isn’t just one of a wedding here, but of the ultimate wedding, when we receive Christ as our bridegroom. He promises to be there forever, make us His, dwell among us, and provide what we need.

Americans celebrate Easter this month as a national holiday. But as Christians, we celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus Christ everyday. As we celebrate His Resurrection, we look forward to our own. We look forward to the wedding feast with our bridegroom.

I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Now the dwelling of God is with men, and He will live with them. They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” …. “Come, I will show you the bride, the wife of the Lamb.” And he carried me away in the Spirit to a mountain great and high, and showed me the Holy City, Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God. (Revelation 21:2-4,9b-10)

As you think about your own wedding or of the weddings that you have seen, remember the wedding that awaits us when the Bridegroom call us to Him. He promises that we will be His people, He will live among us, and all pain will be gone. Weddings on earth and in heaven are no small matter to God.

On our mission trip to Zambia, we will convey this sacred view of marriage to the pastors there. Most of them have never heard this kind of teaching and have never considered the weight of the picture in marriage of Christ and the Church.

We have already printed the notebooks and shipped them to Zambia. Our thanks to Walter Mullican and Portland Avenue Baptist Church for providing the binders, printing the material, and putting together the notebooks. We have also shipped the study Bibles. Please pray for their safe arrival there!

As we write this letter, we have received 53% of the funds for our mission trip and have 50 days left! We praise God for what we have received. Please pray with us for the remaining amount ($10,500). And please continue to pray for the preparations in Zambia, that God will bring men and women committed to strengthen marriages according to God’s Word. We know that He wants to do a great work to change the hearts and minds of the people in Ndola, Zambia.

We love and appreciate you and your support of the work God is doing through Living Well!

May the Lord bless you in your relationship to Him.

Our love in Christ,
Donna and Ed Edwards

The water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life. John 4:14b

Video Zambia 2011 Mission

2011-03-29T13:56:00.000-05:00

2011-03-28T15:23:00.000-05:00

Once again this year the Lord is calling us to the mission field. He has given us the task of presenting our Pastoral Marriage and Family Enrichment Conference in Zambia. This mission trip will be our third opportunity to minister in Zambia. This year’s conference will be held in the city of Ndola from May 30 – June 3. Living Well will partner with Africa Leadership and Reconciliation Ministries (ALARM) to facilitate the event. ALARM staff on the ground in Zambia make all the local arrangements for us and will present a one-day follow-up seminar with the participants later in the year.

Of the east African countries where we go, Zambia is the hardest to get to in terms of time. We take five different flights each way, covering over 22,000 miles to get to/from Ndola! [see map] We go because the Lord has given us the mission to encourage and train the pastors and their wives. These dear servants of God have very little resources and almost no opportunity for training. Please see this post for the fact sheet on the mission.

Following the pastor’s conference, I (Ed) will have the opportunity to teach several hundred men at a one-day seminar in Ndola. This event will be held at one of the largest churches in the region and the teaching will focus on moral purity, family leadership, and faithfulness in marriage. The topics are especially appropriate since Zambia has one of the highest rates of HIV/AIDS in the world.

The task is huge! As you can imagine, the cost of such a mission trip is great. The total financial need is $22,000. This amount includes Ed and Donna’s expenses for air and ground travel, food and lodging; and all expenses for the pastor couples to attend the conference. Although the $281total cost per couple to attend the conference is not that great, this amount is well beyond their means. Fifty pastor couples representing fifty churches will attend the conference. Although the cost per couple is relatively small, the impact on their lives, their churches, and their communities is priceless.

We ask you to join our team by supporting the mission effort with your prayers and donations.[to donate] God has ordained this work and called us to it. His mission effort will succeed through the generous support of His people. Please join us as we obey the call and allow Him to work through us in touching many in His Name. All contributions are fully tax deductible and you will receive a receipt.

Blessings,
Ed and Donna Edwards

Zambia Mission 2011

2011-03-25T13:29:00.000-05:00

OUR MISSION:

To partner with Africa Leadership and Reconciliation Ministry (ALARM) to teach and train pastors and their wives in Biblical principles of marriage and family, so that they can strengthen their own marriage, model a godly marriage, and train others in marriage and family. Five day conference, May 30-June 3.
To teach several hundred men a seminar on moral purity, family leadership, and faithfulness in marriage. Ed will teach the one-day seminar on June 4.
To bring resources to strengthen and encourage pastors and their wives in their ministry and their marriage.

THE MISSION FIELD:

The pastors and wives in Zambia, which is in south-central Africa. Zambia is a country the size of Texas. Zambia has a population of 13 million people. We will be in Ndola, the 2nd largest city in the country, where we ministered in 2006. The average life expectancy is about 40 years old (men and women).
The religious beliefs are estimated to be Christians (50-75%), Muslims (24-49%), and indigenous beliefs (animism, 1%).
Unemployment is 50%, with a 70% poverty rate.
The averange annual income is $ 395; the cost of the conference per couple would be more than 50% of their annual income.
Because of their low income, we have to provide for the expenses of the conference, as well as our own expenses.

OUR NEEDS:

Prayer
Team Funds: $3958 each ($7916 total) for Ed & Donna Edwards (includes transportation, food, and lodging)
Funds for pastors/wives: 50 couples @ $281/couple = $14,050 (includes Study Bibles & conference notebooks/shipping, food, transportation, translators, and fee for conference venue)

TO DONATE

THEIR NEEDS:

Zambia has been heavily evangelized but the pastors have little or no training in any area, but especially the area of marriage and family.
The rate of HIV/AIDS infection is very high, but the shame and misinformation related to infection is also high. The epidemic is spreading primarily through heterosexual contact. The need for pastors, church leaders, and their wives (some are HIVpositive) to talk to someone who will not condemn them is also great.
Zambia is a Christian nation by constitution but has a growing Muslim population. Among Christians leaders, they have difficulty integrating their faith with long-held cultural beliefs. The need for teaching and training in living out the life of a devoted follower of Christ is acute!
Through Ed's personal ministry to a church leader in 2006 (HIV positive, addicted to pornography, in debt,and travelled away from family for work), that man got out of debt and broke free from immorality. As Ed continued to minister to him from the U.S., first, the man helped a group of six other men break free from pornography. Then, he began speaking to men's groups in churches on moral purity. He is now studying for vocational ministry.

March 2011 LIVING WELL Letter

2011-02-28T16:00:00.000-06:00

Our busiest month of the year changed! Our very mild winter took a drastic change …. for two weeks. Because of the snow and cold, several of our events were postponed or altered. We did get some rest imposed by the weather, whether we wanted it or not!

We had a great retreat with those from Caddo county. We were excited to see many young couples who really want to follow the Lord in their marriage. The Dream Marriage simulcast had a huge impact. Many couples are already looking forward to next year’s seminar.

Many obstacles exist for couples today. Their marriages are falling apart at amazing rates. Thank you for your support for us in prayer. We are in constant need of direction from the Lord. We face difficulties that we do not have answers to. From a human perspective, these situations seem impossible. We know there is always hope! He has answers even when we do not.

Marriage Missionaries to Zambia!

We are returning to Zambia for the third time to teach and train pastors! We are still finalizing details and budgets. What we know right now: we will go at the end of May, first of June. We expect around 100 people to attend (50 churches, pastor and his wife) in Ndola, Zambia. We are buying new study Bibles here and shipping them over. We will teach and train pastors in marriage principles and in building marriage ministries. The trip will cost over $21,000 for our expenses and the participant’s expenses.

We need to ship Bibles and buy plane tickets right now! The immediate need for those expenses is approximately $6400. Please pray with us that the Lord will provide the funds within the next two weeks so that we can proceed. You will receive more details as soon as all of the details have been worked out.

Zambia has the highest rate of HIV/AIDS in east Africa, resulting in one of the shortest life spans, leaving thousands of children without a mom or a dad or both. The Church has the opportunity and obligation to make a difference in this country. Through teaching pastors God’s design for marriage, we have seen a difference in the lives of those we have taught.

During our ministry in this same city in 2006, an elder from a church in that city attended the conference; we will call him “John.” After several sessions at the conference, Ed counseled with John privately. John has HIV/AIDS and is married with children. He was in debt and was addicted to pornography. Upon returning home, we sent him materials. Ed kept in touch with him through the internet. God began to heal John. John’s pastor was also at the conference. John shared his struggle for the first time with his pastor. He told of the way God was healing him from the problem with pornography and his debt. Soon, John connected with six other men in his church who also had a porn problem. We sent more materials. Men began to admit their sin and their struggle publicly for the first time. The pastor preached on the topic and directed men to John. He began speaking in other churches. God did such a work in John’s life that he is now attending Bible college. In an email just last week, he told us that the books are still circulating in his church.

Through the ministry God gave us in 2006, God is healing men.

Marriages are healed and lives are saved. Staying faithful to God’s principles in marriage is a life or death issue in Zambia.

We love and appreciate you and your support of the work God is doing through Living Well!
May the Lord bless you in your relationship to Him.

Our love in Christ,
Donna and Ed Edwards

P.S. Please pray that the Lord will provide the funds for our mission to Zambia.

Marriage Glue

2011-02-25T16:58:00.000-06:00

One of the main causes of marital friction is financial matters.

Theoretically speaking, managing family finances according to a written spending plan is pretty straightforward and not really that hard to establish. But typically in married couples, there is likely to be a spender and a saver. That complicates matters and makes it critical for husbands and wives to learn to work together as a team. Being different is not a bad thing and it doesn’t mean one spouse is inferior to the other. God puts us together to complete one another, to use our different gifts and abilities to enhance the marriage, and it takes two people working together as one to succeed.

God wants to use conflict to bond couples together as they work through conflict. This includes financial issues. Even money challenges can bring the two closer together.

*Instead of letting money become a wedge that divides a marriage, God intends for it to be one of the glues that brings about true oneness.*

We all enter into marriage with strengths and weaknesses. The differences between spouses concerning financial matters can stem from our gender, backgrounds, personalities, and even our relationship with God. If we fail to understand those differences, deep hurt can result. But working together as a team, recognizing that those differences actually fill “gaps” in each other lives, can result in marriages where finances are a strength not a weakness.

Whenever financial matters start getting out of hand in a marriage, the first thing to do is to pray. There is absolutely no substitute for God’s answer. Iit’s best if husbands and wives pray together some are not at that point, at least pray individually). We ask the Lord for His direction and for wisdom regarding our finances. We simply ask God what He wants us to do with the money entrusted to us by Him. Remember He owns it all, but has made us managers (stewards) over some of it for a purpose and we should always remember to ask what His plans are!

Good communication and planning are essential for success. It’s a matter of determining where we are financially, having a mutually agreed upon, fair plan, and talking about it (calmly and regularly). “With all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing forbearance to one another in love” (Ephesians 4:2). Agreeing as a couple about financial decisions and goals requires loving consideration, usually some compromise, and maybe even involve sacrifice from both partners.

If the financial problems and/or communication issues are intense, most couples need to seek outside help to get on track. Seeking counsel for marriage or financial problems should be as normal as seeking medical counsel when we’re sick. “Without consultation, plans are frustrated, but with many counselors they succeed.” (Proverbs 15:22)

We cannot prevent every difficulty and we can’t dodge every conflict in marriage, but we can prepare to survive them by building a solid relationship with God, a healthy marriage, and stable finances. Don’t forget – difficulties are opportunities to grow into the couple God wants us to be!

More Money

2011-02-14T13:38:00.000-06:00

More money seems to be the solution to everything.

If kids are doing poorly in school, let's spend more money on education.
If we have a drug problem in our state, let's spend more money on police, prison, and drug education.
If I had a fight with my wife, I'll spend a lot on a nice evening out to appease her.
If the kids throw a fit in the store, I'll buy them something to keep them quiet.

And when we are in a financial bind, the solution is more money! If I don't have the things in life that I want, I just need more money to be happy. If I bill collectors are calling, I just need more money.

What if I told you that more money is not the solution to any of those problems?

Most people don't know how much they spend on any given area per month. Of those who do know, very few plan how they are going to spend their money. Expenses just happen.

No matter who you consult for advice about finances or money management, one of the first steps they will ask someone to take is to figure out how much he is spending in every area of his life - home, cars, medical, etc. One of the next steps is to determine how much he can/should spend on each area - a spending plan.

More money is not the answer, but managing the money God has given us is the answer.

The concept is not rocket science but it is often hard for people to navigate on their own. We didn't have anyone to help us. We made one attempt, couldn't figure it out, went back to it five years later. We were so excited about what a spending plan did for our money, our state of mind, and our marriage that we told all of our friends. Then we trained in how to teach others this great concept.

We are offering a class at a special price, just $10 for the notebook, starting Sunday, February 20th. See this page for more details on the six-week class.

If you answer any of these questions with a "yes," this class will benefit you.

Does it put you in a bind to have unexpected expenses?
Do you wonder where all the money went?
Do you ever argue with your spouse and/or parents about money?
Do you owe money, other than on your mortgage?
Do you ever arguments in your marriage over money?
Do you want to tithe and/or save but don't feel that you can afford to?
Do you worry about having enough money to pay the bills?
Do you live paycheck to paycheck?
Do you worry about having enough for retirement/college?

More money is not the answer but we will help you find God's solution.

Energize Your Marriage - Conference

2011-02-07T16:14:00.003-06:00

At our retreat with some great folks from southwest OK, we talked about what drains your marriage of energy.

They came up with several ideas which we had them write on big sticky notes and post on a boad. Common themes were:

Children
Work
Money
Time
Housework
Busy life

Then the more personal ones emerged: arguing - trust, self-centeredness, lack of sleep, laziness, TV, and pain.

We also had time at the end to share some commitments they made to ENERGIZE their marriages.

The ENERGIZE commitments included:

Time alone together
Praying for each other
Making marriage a priority
Date nights
Better communication, listening
Not blaming
God first

Applause for these couples committed to strengthening their marriages! Some are pictured here:

We commend Caddo Baptist Association for their ongoing commitment to strengthen marriages in their area with yearly marriage retreats!

February 2011 Living Well Letter

2011-02-01T13:53:00.000-06:00

“I have loved you with an everlasting love” Jeremiah 31:3

And what are you planning for the one you love?

If you are married, consider giving your marriage a gift of love. We encourage all married couples to do something to maintain and strengthen their marriage at least once a year. What have you done for your marriage this year?

February is the busiest month of the year for marriage educators and advocates. We have many events coming up. Please pray for us as we seek to speak into the lives of many couples. Events:

Jan 28-29, Friday night/Saturday “Energize” retreat, Caddo Baptist Assoc.
Feb 4-5, Fri night/Sat “Marriage Tune-up” retreat, 1st Baptist Church, McAlester, at Falls Creek
Feb 7, 7-8:30pm, Mondays, “Preparing for Marriage” class, our office
Feb 8, 7-8:30pm Tuesdays, “Living Well in Marriage” class, our office
Feb 11-12, Fri nigh/Sat morning, “Dream Marriage” live simulcast by Jimmy Evans, regional event, sponsored by Marriage Network OK at Putnam City Bapt (we coordinate and host this event)
Feb 24, Thursday, 10-3, “Building a Comprehensive Marriage Ministry” workshop, Southwood Baptist Church, Tulsa (regional training for church leaders)
Feb 27, Sundays, 5-6:30, “Managing Money” class, Putnam City Baptist Church

Wow! The list even scares us! How do we do it? Because the Spirit of God compels us. He has given us a passion and equips and enables us to do it! We value your prayers and support.

Our schedule reflects the different avenues of ministry, which we believe are essential, to reach different couples. We do individual/couple guidance every week. We teach small groups such as the one which starts February 8th at our office. We teach church groups, such as the retreats. We sponsor regional events (Dream Marriage simulcast). We train leaders who can go back to their churches and teach or lead marriage ministries.

Families today are under more stress than ever before. According to an American Psychological Association study, in 2007, stress impacts lives in a dramatic way:

About 1/2 say that stress has a negative impact on both their personal and professional lives.
About 1/3 of employed adults have difficulty managing work and family responsibilities.
Over 1/3 cite jobs interfering with their family or personal time as a source of stress.
Stress causes more than half of Americans (54%) to fight with people close to them.

To overcome these stresses, couple must take an intentional approach to strengthening their marriages and their families. They will not be able to hold their families together without a plan!

We love and appreciate you and your support of the work God is doing through Living Well!

May the Lord bless you in your relationship to him and in your marriage.

Our love in Christ,
Donna and Ed Edwards
P.S. Please pray that the Lord will give us wisdom and rest.

Lesson from Life, 4

2011-01-18T14:45:00.000-06:00

The Christian life is simple. Not easy.

I grew up in church. I always believed. I asked Christ for forgiveness of my sins when I was a child. Our family attended church during the days when most people good people went to church.

I didn't really understand the Bible. I understood the gospel. I loved Jesus. I tried to be good. I thought the Bible was about history, the end times, and salvation. Period.

Many years passed. I went to college, got married, and went to church occassionally. I prayed and I loved Jesus. God gave us a lot of commands about what we had to do to measure up to His standards. Some days I did better than others. I would try hard or hardly try. If it was to be, it was up to me.

Finally, I came face to face with my inability to do life on my own. We went back to church. I began to really study the Bible. I studied several hours a day, for several years. I read commentaries, read books, listened to preachers/teachers, and asked lots of questions. I studied the nuances of the Greek words for love. I learned the names of God.

But I still struggled in living the Christian life. If I could just learn more, I could live better. WRONG!

I knew a lot, but I didn't live the Christian life any better. As I learned more about God, my Father, I found His heart .... His heart for me. I realized that He loved me, period. He doesn't love me more if I am more obedient or less if I mess up. He just loves me. He gave me His Presence, the Spirit, so I would never be alone. I can know Him. I can love Him. I can spend time with Him. He lives in me and can live through me.

I am made to love Him and be loved by Him. I can be so full of His love that it spills out on everyone around me .... without asking, expecting, or needing anything in return. That's it, the whole ball of wax.

No need for knowing all of the nuances of the original language. No need for keeping lists of all I should be doing or how I have failed. I am loved. I am forgiven. I am accepted.

Do I always remember that? No.
Do I always live like that? No.
Sometimes I fall back into my old habits. It is not always easy to keep my mind fixed on Him. It is not always easy to get my focus off my circumstances.
But the love that He has for me doesn't change.

I can still love God with all my heart and be loved by Him. Because of and with that love, I can freely love others, no strings attached. A lesson I have learned in this life.

The Christian life is simple. But it's not always easy.

Lesson from Life, 3

2011-01-08T14:51:00.000-06:00

"Life is difficult. This is the great truth, one of the greatest truths—it is a great truth because once we see this truth, we transcend it." M. Scott Peck

Early in our marriage, before children, Ed and I did some hiking, camping, and mountain climbing. Hiking in the mountains was always an adventure.

We had to be in pretty good shape because of the altitude and the terrain. Our bodies would still get weary. We would be going up an incline, not sure how far it was to the top, then we would reach a plateau.

Donna hiking in Colorado, circa 1970's

What a relief! The strain on our muscles and our lungs would diminish. We could walk on level ground for awhile, but there was always another hill to climb, a never ending series of jagged points to transcend.

Why did we go through such strain on our bodies?

Regardless of the physical strain, the beauty of the journey made it worth the work.

Did we go on those hikes thinking it would be easy? No, we were smarter than that. We knew we would have tight lungs and burning legs. We did it anyway.

Was it worth it? You bet. Thoughts of those days bring joy to my heart and gratitude in my soul for the experience. The experience was worth the work.

I don't always approach life the same way. I don't know if it is our highly developed industrialization and technology, but for some reason, I think we shouldn't have so many struggles and painful experiences.

I remember what a shock life was in my 20's. I thought I had it figured out. I knew I would be successful, be a perfect wife with a perfect home. I came face to face with the fact that much of what I thought I knew wasn't working.

In a past ministry, I had the opportunity to see college students come and intern with us during the summer. I watched them look for "the key" to life and happiness. Some came to realize that there isn't a key. Life is a journey of hard places and plateaus. No matter how hard we work we will still have steep, hard climbs when we can't see where we are going.

As I go through this period of grief after the loss of my mother, I think about what a lousy system we have on earth. We experience great joy with a new birth, but great grief when life leaves. The cycle is inevitable.

Then I am reminded that we were not created for this world. God's intention is for us to live eternally. When we lose sight of our eternal nature, the difficulty of this life overwhelms us. We live in a fallen world that is difficult. As M. Scott Peck reminds us, the sooner that realize and accept that life is difficult, the less difficult it becomes. We quit expecting things to be different. We enjoy the journey, however it looks or feels, knowing the peaks offer incredible views of life. God promises us that He will give us the strength for the climb.

The same concept applies to marriage. Many people encounter that unrealistic expectation in marriage without seeing the beauty of the journey together (see my article). Marriage takes work, but don't forget the fun (re: lessons from life,2) The marriage journey challenges me over and over, but my "marriage legs" are getting stronger. The climb is not as hard; we enjoy more plateaus and scenic look-outs than I would have ever envisioned.

Life is difficult, accept it, and enjoy the view.

Lessons from Life, 2

2011-01-05T22:05:00.000-06:00

Fun is important!

I know that doesn't sound terribly deep or mature. But it's true. You may be saying "duh!" But if this truth were so widely known, why do so many people neglect having fun in their marriages?

Maybe it's my age, but sometimes when I get home from work, my brain hurts. I just need to go to bed or veg out in front of the TV, or laugh for awhile.

I can be a very serious person. Ed says I have a mad look on my face when I am working on my computer. Sometimes, I AM mad at my computer, but usually I am just concentrating really hard. It takes all my remaining brain cells to keep the upper hand with the demons behind the screen. When I am not on the computer, I am listening to people talk about the tragedy or crises in their lives. Some are truly tragic, some are not tragic at all, they just aren't happy.

We see so many marriages that become so tense. Something happened from the wedding to living real life. They get caught up in working, making ends meet or building a career. They buy a house, have children. And along the way, they forgot to have fun together as a couple.

Ed and I had seven years together before we had children. We spent time building our friendship, having fun, just the two of us. I learned to play golf and go fishing with him. He learned what the inside of an art museum looks like. We both loved to go camping and hiking (our younger days!).

A few years into parenthood, we realized that we weren't taking time to have fun together.

We revived the old habits again. We started "dating" again. We made sure that we got away on at least a short vacation together, just the two of us. When the kids were still small, we might only go two or three hours away - Dallas for a couple of days or Grand Lake to play golf. As they got bigger, we went farther - the Caribbean, Chicago, NYC, Italy.

This last year has been tough. Because of my mom's illness, we didn't take a vacation. The dates became a refuge and refreshment. Fun doesn't have to break the bank or take elaborate planning. Everyone has his own flavor of fun; it comes in many varieties.

My inner nerd wants to make everything an educational experience. But Ed and I didn't marry because of time we spent learning together. We got married because we enjoyed each other and had fun together - we went to movies, to eat at delicious Cajun food, had picnics at plantations. The fun continues today, just in different ways.

Fun is important in life and in marriage. A life lesson.

New Year and Lessons from Life

2011-01-03T16:44:00.000-06:00

A new year.... new thoughts ..... new life.

As I pass from a very difficult year, I am praying for new ways to share my thoughts and the new life Christ has given me.

Since my mother passed away recently, I thought about calling my new series "lessons learned from my mother." However, I realized that many of my lessons on life were not learned from my mother, I learned them the hard way. I thought about calling it "letters to my children," but my children have heard enough from me to last a lifetime. So, I will call them Lessons from Life.

While teaching our Bible study class yesterday, we talked about the different ways people learn - by reading, by observing, by failure, by pain, by mentoring or being mentored. I have been fortunate enough to learn all of those ways.

The pivotal concept is LEARNING. To learn I have to be teachable. Am I teachable? Sometimes more than others. I tend to be a bulldog when I set my teeth into finding a solution to a problem. I don't give up. To the distress of my family members, I often want them to learn the same lessons with me .... whether they want to or not.

To be teachable, I have to admit I am wrong or that I have made a mistake or that I don't know something.

Have you ever seen someone that thinks that they know something about everything? Or someone that will never admit that they are wrong? Or someone who won't take responsibility for their mistakes? I have been all of those people at some time.

As soon as the first sin happened in the garden an unhealthy pattern of living began. In Genesis 3:11-12, we see God inquiring about what was going on, much as a parent would to their children.

And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?” The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”

Adam started the blame game. He blamed Eve and he blamed God for giving Eve to him. We all play that game at times. But when I blame others for what happened, I am not admitting that I did anything wrong. If I am blaming others, how teachable am I? None, not at all, nil. Not a healthy way to live, you won't win friends or influence people with that attitude.

My first Lesson from Life - admit when I am wrong or don't know or have messed up. Take responsibility. All humans make mistakes. No human knows everything. I am part of the human race and will act like other human beings often.

Unlike the human part of me, I have a supernatural part which can transcend these mistakes and be renewed and restored. I can learn and grow in my faith and in my practice.

Bottom line - it's okay to make mistakes. Now learn and grow.

January 2011 Living Well Letter

2010-12-29T16:03:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year! We hope that you had a wonderful Christmas.

How would you like to start the new year with a life-changing event?

Looking back on 37 years of marriage, if we could change one thing, we would have started a spending plan (budget) in the very beginning of our marriage. The spending plan that we began over 20 years ago has done more for our marriage than any one step we have taken, besides our commitment to the Lord. Even though we didn’t disagree on how we spent our money and we weren’t in a lot of debt, we didn’t know where our money was going. The lack of a plan caused an underlying tension and financial insecurity.

The guru of our day was Larry Burkett. We read his books, listened to him speak, and followed the Biblical principles that he showed us. Our life has been different ever since.

Shortly after that time, Ed became a certified financial counselor through Christian Financial Concepts. He wanted to teach others what we had learned. We both studied and began teaching others about managing money according to God’s design.

We begin a new Managing Money class on Tuesday, January 4th, from 6:30-8:30. The class is four weeks total. We teach the Biblical principles and practical tools. A person or a couple’s life could you be changed forever in this class! Pray and ask God whether He is leading you to come or to sponsor someone else to come. [see details here]

We tell people that managing money isn’t rocket science; it really isn’t hard at all. A few major obstacles exist for most people: 1) a conviction of the heart—making a commitment to follow God’s direction, believing that what He wants is the best for our lives; and 2) a lack of skills in knowing how to formulate and execute the plan; and 3) a belief that someone is going to tell them how to spend your money.

What we do in reference to these obstacles: 1) we clearly present God’s heart on the issues, leaving the opportunity for people to respond; 2) we walk everyone through the steps, one at a time, and are available outside of class for additional help; and 3) we do not set the amount of money people spend on anything, that amount is between them and God and their family (if they have one)., we do not ask anyone to reveal any personal financial information in class.

It is not too late to make end of the year gifts! If the donation is mailed, the envelope must be post-marked by December 31st for us to give a tax-receipt for 2010. You may also donate online up to midnight on the last day of the year. These year-end donations fund a significant amount of ministry in the coming year.

We challenge you to consider what the Lord wants you to do during the coming year to grow closer to Him and to grow in your closest relationships.

We love and appreciate you and your support of the work God is doing through Living Well! We are excited to see what He is going to do in the year to come! May the Lord bless you in the coming year.
Our love in Christ,

Donna and Ed Edwards
P.S. Please pray that the Lord will continue to provide for the ministry through year-end giving.

NAMES OF JESUS

2010-12-24T14:37:00.000-06:00

The Fruit of the Ministry of Living Well

2010-12-21T15:44:00.000-06:00

What a great looking family!

We do marriage and financial guidance for families such as this one.

This family had gotten into deep debt, had marital problems, and had separated. Through financial and marriage counseling, they reconciled and have come a long way towards paying off their debt.

These two precious kids can grow up in a home with mom and dad together who love them and love each other.

(used by permission)

Tasting Christmas

2010-12-16T15:56:00.000-06:00

What's a blog without recipes?

Eating and cooking spans politics, ethnicity, incomes, gender, and religious preferences.

I don't cook often these days. After 35 years of head cook at our house, my husband decided to take it on .... his reason ...
I was hungry.

But the Christmas tradition of sugar cookies cut into shapes and decorated lies firmly within my territory.

My mother gave me this recipe for sugar cookies and I have not found one that is better. And many of my cookies cutters came from her. When the kids were little, her favorite activity with them was to make cookies ... the messier the better.
_________________________

Sugar Cookies

1 ½ c. powdered sugar

1 c. butter

1 egg

2 ½ c. flour

¼ t. salt
1 t. soda
1 t. cream of tartar

1 t. vanilla or lemon or half & half

Cream butter and sugar until fluffy. Add egg and vanilla or lemon, mix well. Work in by hands sifted, dry ingredients. Chill 1 hour. Roll out ¼” thick to cut into shapes. Bake 7-10 minutes at 375 degrees . Times may vary, watch carefully. Frost or decorate.

______________________

I have found that one of the keys to successfully cutting out the cookies and transfering them to the cookies sheet is to make sure that the dough is cold. After chilling it, I usually divide the dough in half or less to roll it

out. After cutting one group of cookies out, I will make the dough into a ball again and roll it out again ONCE. After the rolling it out twice, the dough gets too warm; so I stick it back in the frig. Then after all the pieces of dough are chilled again, I will put them together in a ball and roll it out again.

After taking them out of the oven, I let them cool for two minutes, then take them off the cookies sheet and put them on a wire rack to cool. Usually, we end up decorating the cookies on a different day. Our grown-up daughter will still help decorate the cookies but doesn't take an interest in the rolling and cutting business .... too busy.

For little kids, they love getting their hands in the flour, eating some dough, and seeing the blob of dough transformed into shapes they recognize.

Many years ago, my mother saw a new product for cookie decorating in Southern Living magazine. The magazine showed gold and silver powder that could be used on the icing for a new look. Not being able to find that product locally, she called the person who had demonstrated the technique and talked to her personally about it and order some of those little jars.

The person she talked to ..... Martha Stewart, who was new on the cooking and decorating scene at that time. Those little jars were very valuable! It took some experimenting to learn how to use that powder, it's never as easy as it looks in a magazine or on TV. But I learned to mix the powder with regular, granulated sugar to get the desired outcome. Those little jars last a long time! Actually, I thought they were going to last through my lifetime.

But, this year, when we started to get out the ingredients for decorating, Jacquelyn warned me that we were out of the gold and silver. I almost had a meltdown. Since I recently lost my mother, this tradition was an emotional tie for me with her.

Rather than having a melt-down, we went to the internet. We found gold and silver sugar sprinkles online and available at a local retail store.

We don't decorate the cookies to compete in a contest....
We decorate to warm our hearts.

I always include hearts in our Christmas cookies .... what is Christmas without the heart of love?

The hearts and stars remind us why we celebrate the season.

Enjoy!

Less Stress Christmas

2010-12-09T13:22:00.000-06:00

How am I going to have time to get it all done?
Should I buy a gift for a friend ... we have never exchanged gifts before ... I don't want to offend her ... what if she buys me a gift?
Our son wants a car .... we can afford a bike.

Any of that sound familiar?

A couple of tips to reduce the stress of this time of year:

1. Don't charge your Christmas presents.

Only spend what you have that isn't allocated towards previous commitments (for example: mortagage, car payment) or a need (food, electricity, etc.).

We were so excited about our ~~budget~~ spending plan the first year that we were telling everyone how wonderful it was. That was 20 years ago and we are still telling everyone! After that first Christmas on a spending plan, a friend called to thank us for our Christmas present to them. I'm thinking ... "it wasn't that great of a present to warrant this enthusiasm." But our friend thanked us for talking about getting out of debt. She said that was the first Christmas that they had not charged their Christmas presents. After Christmas, they would have the stress of all those bills to face. She said it was their best Christmas ever.

2. Give gifts with meaning, not just something to say that I have given a gift. See our marriage blog for some ideas on gifts for your marriage. Ask yourself the question "what can I give that will still be here after I am gone?" Usually, the Gift of Presence last longer than gifts of presents. As

I look around and think about Christmas, the times we made cookies or went to the Nutcraker ballet with my mother and our kids are the memories and times I cherish the most. Who can remember the presents 20 years later? The Presence lasts forever. Or consider a gift that will bring spiritual growth, which will go with us into eternity - an Eternal Presence.

We are celebrating the Prince of Peace. I pray that I will let His Peace live in me .... a less stress Christmas.

Names of Jesus - MerryChristmas from Ed and Donna Edwards, Living Well

2010-12-03T12:16:00.000-06:00

LIVING WELL, December 2010

2010-12-02T15:38:00.001-06:00

He will swallow up death forever. The Sovereign LORD will wipe away the tears from all faces.
(Isaiah 25:6)

The reality of this verse is a great comfort as I (Donna) go through the passing of my mother from this life to the reality of eternity with our Lord. My mother departed on November 15th. I was fortunate to spend those moments with her as she breathed her last breath. For now, the loss of her physical presence brings great grief in my life. But I believe His Promise even when I don’t feel it.

My mother had a great influence on my spiritual life. I am thankful for the many ways she taught me about Jesus and the way she demonstrated His life through hers. I think of the verse in which Paul wrote to Timothy about his legacy of faith from his mother and grandmother. The same verse could be written of my inheritance. "I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother and in your mother and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also." (2 Timothy 1:5 paraphrased) The faith of a Christian mother and grandmother is of great value in our lives.

I know that many of our friends, family, and supporters have prayed for us during this time of loss. We greatly appreciate your continued prayers as we go through this season of life.

As we celebrate the coming of our Lord to earth, we remember why He came.

The Bible recounts many reasons that Jesus left heaven to become a human and walk the earth. Here are a few.

Jesus came:

To reveal or make known the Father:
     All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. Matthew 11:27

   No one has ever seen God, but the one and only Son, who is himself God and is in closest relationship with the Father, has made him known. John 1:18

To save the world:
    For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. John 3:17

To preach the good news of the kingdom of God:
    But he said, “I must proclaim the good news of the kingdom of God to the other towns also, because that is why I was sent.” Luke 4:43

To serve and sacrifice:
   Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. Matthew 20:28

To do the will of the Father:
   For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. John 6:38

To destroy the work of Satan:
    The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil’s work. 1 John 3:8

To become a high priest and atone for sin:
    For this reason he had to be made like them, fully human in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. Hebrews 2:17

To proclaim freedom for believers:
    The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free. Luke 4:18

To give abundant life:
    I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. John 10:10b

In December each year, many of us either make special donations to ministries or perhaps catch up on donations before year’s end. Without you and others standing with us, it is not possible for us to continue the mission the Lord has given us to strengthen marriages and families through the services of our ministry including personal guidance and classes. Would you please prayerfully consider including Living Well in your end-of-year contributions? Your prayers and financial investment enables us to move forward in 2011. (Click here to donate)

Know anyone who needs to get a better handle on their finances? We have a class starting January 4th on Tuesday nights in January. (Click here for details) Our love in Christ,

Merry Christmas! We pray that you have an opportunity to spend time with your families. May the enclosed book mark aid you in celebrating and worshipping the fullness of who Jesus is.

Donna and Ed Edwards

P.S. Please pray that the Lord will continue to provide for the ministry through year-end giving.

Good Grief

2010-12-01T20:44:00.000-06:00

Many times I have sent the booklet, Good Grief, to friends who are going through the loss of a loved one.

Today, I decided it was time for me to read it for my own grief, not as a counselor, but as one who is experiencing the loss.

About 18 months ago, I wrote about grief (read here) after watching a couple of friends go through the loss of loved ones.

Today I read that post for myself. I ended that post with these words:

I don't know that kind of sorrow and grief,
but I know our Lord does.
And He cares. And He comforts.

That I do know.

Today, I do know the sorrow and grief. And He still cares. And he still comforts. That I do know.

Thanksgiving Proclamations by Wm Bradford & George Washington

2010-11-24T16:12:00.000-06:00

Governor Bradford of Massachusetts made this first Thanksgiving Proclamation, 1623
"Inasmuch as the great Father has given us this year an abundant harvest of Indian corn, wheat, peas, beans, squashes, and garden vegetables, and has made the forests to abound with game and the sea with fish and clams, and inasmuch as He has protected us from the ravages of the savages, has spared us from pestilence and disease, has granted us freedom to worship God according to the dictates of our own conscience.

Now I, your magistrate, do proclaim that all ye Pilgrims, with your wives and ye little ones, do gather at ye meeting house, on ye hill, between the hours of 9 and 12 in the daytime, on Thursday, November 29th, of the year of our Lord one thousand six hundred and twenty three and the third year since ye Pilgrims landed on ye Pilgrim Rock, there to listen to ye pastor and render thanksgiving to ye Almighty God for all His blessings."

William Bradford
Ye Governor of Ye Colony
____________________________________________________________

First Presidential Proclamation for Thanksgiving

THANKSGIVING DAY 1789
BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

Whereas it is the duty of all Nations to acknowledge the providence of almighty God, to obey his will, to be grateful for his benefits, and humbly to implore his protection and favor - and Whereas both Houses of Congress have by their joint Committee requested me "to recommend to the People of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness."

Now therefore I do recommend and assign Thursday the 26th day of November next to be devoted by the People of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being, who is the beneficent Author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be – That we may then all unite in rendering unto him our sincere and humble thanks – for his kind care and protection of the People of this country previous to their becoming a Nation – for the signal and manifold mercies, and the favorable interpositions of his providence, which we experienced in the course and conclusion of the late war –for the great degree of tranquillity, union, and plenty, which we have since enjoyed – for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enabled to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national One now lately instituted, for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and in general for all the great and various favors which he hath been pleased to confer upon us.

And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech him to pardon our national and other transgressions – to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually – to render our national government a blessing to all the People, by constantly being a government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed – to protect and guide all Sovereigns and Nations (especially such as have shewn kindness unto us) and to bless them with good government, peace, and concord – To promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and Us – and generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as he alone knows to be best.

Given under my hand at the City of New York the third day of October in the year of our Lord 1789.

GEORGE WASHINGTON.

Power of ONE

2010-10-31T21:04:00.000-05:00

The believer does not use God's power; God's power uses him. Kenneth Wuest

The Power of ONE begins with our relationship with the Lord. The power to have successful relationships comes from Him into me and through me.

He promises to give me everything I need to live this life in a way that honors and glorifies Him.

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness. (2 Peter 1:3)

To allow His Power to live through me, I give up my agenda, my thoughts on how best to live life. I seek Him and His way. I have confidence that what He wants for me is the very best of life.

When I receive:

God’s love, I can love as He does (John 13:33).
God’s forgiveness, I can forgive as He does (Ephesians 4:32).

God’s acceptance, I can accept the way He does (Romans 15:7).

Many in the body of Christ have no idea what the power of God can do in them and through them to touch the lives of others. That touch can bring change for generations. God is not waiting for me or you to achieve some super-spiritual level. He is just waiting for me to open my hand and my heart to Him. His power is not exclusive to certain people. He says that He is one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. (Ephesians 4:6)

At our dinner, one young couple, who went through our premarital class last spring and married shortly after that, shared how they both came from families with divorced parents. But that they made a commitment to make their marriage be one that honors Christ and provides a legacy of a strong marriage instead of a legacy of divorce.

Never underestimate the power of one relationship or one class to set the course for a lifetime. If God can work through us in this couple’s life, He can work through and in you!

Therefore encourage one another. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

Power of ONE in Marriage .....

When you make the sacrifice in marriage, you're sacrificing not to each other but to unity in a relationship. Joseph Campbell

The unity in marriage is what we call “oneness.” God describes it as “one flesh” in Genesis 2:24. The unity of marriage is not uniformity. In fact it might better be described as diversity. We are two different genders, two personalities, two backgrounds, and two sets of giftedness and experience. Two drastically different people come together to become one.

Attitudes, words, behaviors, or actions can cause a husband and wife to be divided, instead of one. But we have seen in case after case that ONE person can change the atmosphere of a marriage. ONE person who focuses on the Lord and loves unconditionally in a marriage can bring about change. That person gives up their wants/desires for what God wants, for the sake of unity and oneness.

ONE husband or wife who will love even when feeling unloved or disrespected can bring healing and unity.

How? See the first section of this blog!

Power of ONE Financially .....

ONE DOLLAR

Do you ever think about how many times a day you throw away or waste ONE dollar?

While doing financial guidance, we usually have people keep track of all of the money they spend. They are usually amazed at where their money is going. Most people have some kind of “black hole.”

A Sonic drink during happy hour is one of our favorite treats and it is about a dollar. If we have one every day, that’s $30/month or $365/year.

Could you use $30 more a month or $365 more a year in your budget?

If that soda costs more than a dollar, the amounts multiply dramatically.

Maybe Sonic isn’t your black hole. What about the amount of food you throw out that is uneaten, either at home or a restaurant? Do you waste a dollar a day on food?

What about the Itunes music or ring tones for your phone? They are a dollar or maybe a little more. Are they a wise investment?

Maybe you don’t waste money on food or drink or splurge on music. But how many coats or shoes are in your closet? Most of us have more than we need.

Any DOLLAR spent today wastefully cannot be spent tomorrow on something you really need.

What would happen if you saved a dollar a day instead? If you start at age 22 and save a dollar a day until 65 (assuming a 6% interest rate over the long term), you would have $72,688.54 ($56,993.54 of the total is the interest). You would gain almost $57,000 without having to work for it …. for just a dollar a day.

Does a dollar really make a difference? Looks like it does. To reap the dividends we may have to give up a momentary pleasure. Or we may have to find a way to put that dollar into something that isn’t disposable (paper plates vs. real plates, handkerchief vs. tissues).

What would a dollar a day reap for eternity?

In our ministry, if everyone who received our letter, gave a dollar more a day, we would be fully funded and be able to expand our training and teaching.

In east Africa, where we minister, you could pay the salary of a pastor for a dollar a day.

And your church would love for you to increase giving by a dollar a day!

Power of ONE Word ....

Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another. Napoleon Hill

Marriage is the most intimate of all relationships. I can encourage or destroy my spouse with my words. Somehow I think I am “helping” him when I criticize or correct him.

But my spouse is looking to me to affirm the good in his life, not shoot down the things with which we don’t agree. If I don’t see and encourage the positive parts of his character and his behavior, who will? Isn’t that what each of us want to receive from our spouse?

A man finds joy in giving an apt reply— and how good is a timely word! Proverbs 15:23

LIVING WELL, November, 2010

2010-10-28T17:04:00.000-05:00

Giving Thanks - Thanksgiving

Sounds the same, looks the same. Are they the same?

Thanksgiving is one of our most loved holidays in America. But is Thanksgiving still about “giving thanks?” And if we are giving thanks, to whom are we giving it?

As I (Donna) look back on the last year, it has been one of the hardest years of my life.

A year ago, I had emergency surgery for a ruptured colon, in the hospital for a week and home for six more weeks recuperating.
Because of the shortfall in donations, we have not been able to take full salaries, even while paying for hospital costs.
My mother has faced many severe health issues; she is in ICU right now.
One of our young couples, to whom we are close, have a son who came down with leukemia a year ago, has been in the hospital many weeks, and has had many complications.
Ed had significant hearing loss in one ear.
Our pastor died.
Two months later our associate pastor of 43 years died; he was a friend and a mentor.
While in Africa, I came down with an intestinal bug and was ill for several days before and after we got home.
As we arrived home from Africa, we learned that another one of our young couples had their baby, but he had problems and died two days later.
My niece had her first child 14 weeks prematurely and he is still in the hospital…
.. And last week, we learned that Ed’s sister has stage 4 lung cancer (a nonsmoker).
All of that does not include the challenges of parenting adult children who have stressful situations of their own.

And then we listen to the people’s problems all day. How do we do that? We have learned the Power of ONE.

There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called—one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
(Ephesians 4:4-6)

We can have personal tragedy in our own life and in the lives of those we love but still encourage others in the ways of the Lord because we know The ONE who is “over all and through all and in all.” He has given us His Power, His Strength, and His Presence.

How does this idea relate to Thanksgiving?

We can focus on the bad experiences of the last year or we can see God’s hand in the good.

We can give thanks because ….

I survived the emergency surgery, the African bug and am back to normal now.
we are able to pay our bills at home and at the ministry.
mother is still with us and has hopes of recovery.
our two young couples each experienced their tragedy with God’s grace, ministered to each other, and are beacons of faith and hope to our other young couples.
Ed can still hear without hearing aids.
after serving five months on the pastor search team, we have a pastor coming “in view of a call” next Sunday.
my niece’s son is still making progress, hopes to go home soon.
Ed’s sister still feels well and is at MD Anderson for further diagnosis this week.
and both our kids still love us, love the Lord, and are working towards solutions in their lives.

We choose to give thanks to The ONE!

At our dinner, we were able to share the Power of ONE through many different areas of ministry.

One young couple, Zach and Jennifer, shared the Power of ONE to change their legacy of divorce, which they inherited, to a legacy of a strong marriage for their future, starting with a premarital class. Zach's parents were divorced and he travelled from one home to the other, often across the country, even across the ocean. Jennifer's parents divorced when she was 18, when her dad left her mom unexpectedly. They are commited to each other for a lifetime, seeking to strengthen their marriage before the vows and continuing throughout their marriage.

We shared one couple’s experience of coming to Living Well for the first time. [see the video]

We shared the results one year later of the Power of ONE conference in Bagamoyo, Tanzania. Hear the testimonies of pastors about how God has used what they learned last year to bring reconciliation in marriages, even after 10 years of separation, and to teach other pastors and lay people. [see the video]

We shared the Power of ONE conference in Morogoro, Tanzania, to convict pastors of sins against their wives, to bring the truth of God's design for marriage to pastors for the first time, and to encourage pastors/wives in their ministry. [see the video]

One person can make a difference!

Think of the power of one dollar to change lives, consider this …. one dollar a day.

If all the people who read this letter would donate for the first time or increase their donations by a dollar a day, we would make our budget, which means training and guiding more people.

Our love in Christ,

Donna and Ed Edwards

P.S. Please thank our Lord with us for what He has done this year!

Morogoro, Tanzania

2010-10-21T16:30:00.000-05:00

Justin Kiwovele, country director of ALARM, Tanzania, introduces this video by sharing the impact of the Living Well ministry in Morogoro, Tanzania, June, 2010.

The pictures give a glimpse of the attentiveness and involvement of the pastors and wives attending the conference. For the first time, we had Masaai pastors attending our conferences.

A special thanks to all of those who support Living Well, so that we can continue ministering in east Africa and to Rhett and Megan O'Briant for completing our team. Their teaching, their heart, and their serving spirit came through at every moment.

Living Well in Tanzania

2010-10-21T16:19:00.000-05:00

The power of one conference to change lives is shown through the testimonies of pastors who attended our conference in June, 20009, in Bagamayo, Tanzania.

Included are stories of how one pastor taught the material at his church and was called to teach at other churches, one pastor counseled many others and saw three couples reconcile after being separated for as much as 10 years, and how one pastors is teaching on oneness - addressing culture issues that divide the couples.

Because of the people who support our ministry, we are able to continue to go to east Africa and train many churches.

One couple's introduction to Living Well

2010-10-19T16:33:00.000-05:00

Living Well, October 2010

2010-10-01T17:35:00.000-05:00

One person can make a difference and every person should try. John F. Kennedy

Think about who the person is that has made a positive difference in your life personally or in our world. Can you be that person to someone else or to our world?

The theme of our upcoming dinner is the Power of One (more details). Our desire is that many of those receiving our invitations will attend—to be inspired, to see what God has done through one ministry, and to be challenged for the future. Many have faithfully attended our previous six dinners. We are praying that many who have never attended will come for the first time and that all who are familiar with our ministry will invite someone new to attend with them.

Besides being inspired, we have some great food and a fun silent auction. This year’s auction includes many of our favorites from the past—restaurants, gift cards, African artisan pieces—but also some new that align with our ministry’s emphasis on marriage strengthening—marriage conference gift certificate (FamilyLife’s Weekend to Remember), marriage materials, date night fun.

The event is on October 14 at our church. The silent auction and dinner are from 6:15-7:15; the ministry presentation begins at 7:15. RSVP by calling 792-2586 or email inof@livingwellokc.org by October 7. You are welcome (and encouraged) to bring a guest - just give us their names.

As we explain our ministry to someone, they often ask how people know about us—our answer is always the same—through a personal recommendation. Even though we have a listing in the yellow pages and an internet presence, most people who utilize our services and who support us have been connected to us through someone to whom we have ministered or have joined together for ministry. Their personal recommendations affirmed their confidence in us. We are extremely grateful for that affirmation and seek to honor that confidence. We consistently review what we are teaching and saying about marriage and money to make sure we stay true to God’s Word and His heart.

We are asking you to consider who you can invite to come with you to our dinner. Consider how our ministry might make a difference in their lives.

Have you heard that the recession ended in June of 2009? Does the American public believe that statistic? Anxiety abounds in our land about the future of our economy and the direction of our government leaders. The new trend of the American people saving money (instead of spending more than they make) disturbs the “experts.”

Some reports say that young adults are abandoning marriage and the church because of economic stress. Money continues to be a huge player on the field of marriage and faith. On our blog, Living Well in Marriage (http://www.livingwellinmarriage.blogspot.com/) we have two new articles. Money to Marry describes how young people are delaying marriage until they are financially secure (even though they may live together and/or having children together). Women, Money, and Fear uncovers some of women's fears in relation to money and finances, especially the "bag lady" syndrome. Both issues greatly influence marriages today.
Thank you for your continued prayers and support. For some reason, the beginning of a school year seems to motivate people to seek help for their marriages. So, most of our appointment times for marriage guidance are full, although couples can still join our class. We do have some openings for financial guidance. Donna does some appointments alone with women on marriage issues, which gives Ed some openings to do financial guidance at those times. We do couple marriage guidance together.

Donna and Ed Edwards

A truly great person is the one who gives you a chance."

"To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world."

"We must remember that one determined person can make a significant difference, and that a small group of determined people can change the course of history."

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2

LIVING WELL ANNUAL DINNER - The Power of ONE

2010-09-14T17:57:00.000-05:00

LIVING WELL ANNUAL DINNER

October 14, 2010

6:15-7:15 Silent Auction and Dinner

7:15 Ministry Presentation

RSVP by October 7

Call (405)792-2586
email: info@livingwellokc.org

Dinner Venue: Putnam City Baptist Church
11401 N Rockwell Ave
Oklahoma City