Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Lessons from Life, 2

Fun is important!

I know that doesn't sound terribly deep or mature. But it's true. You may be saying "duh!" But if this truth were so widely known, why do so many people neglect having fun in their marriages?

Maybe it's my age, but sometimes when I get home from work, my brain hurts. I just need to go to bed or veg out in front of the TV, or laugh for awhile.

I can be a very serious person. Ed says I have a mad look on my face when I am working on my computer. Sometimes, I AM mad at my computer, but usually I am just concentrating really hard. It takes all my remaining brain cells to keep the upper hand with the demons behind the screen. When I am not on the computer, I am listening to people talk about the tragedy or crises in their lives. Some are truly tragic, some are not tragic at all, they just aren't happy.

We see so many marriages that become so tense. Something happened from the wedding to living real life. They get caught up in working, making ends meet or building a career. They buy a house, have children. And along the way, they forgot to have fun together as a couple.

Ed and I had seven years together before we had children. We spent time building our friendship, having fun, just the two of us. I learned to play golf and go fishing with him. He learned what the inside of an art museum looks like. We both loved to go camping and hiking (our younger days!).

A few years into parenthood, we realized that we weren't taking time to have fun together.
We revived the old habits again. We started "dating" again. We made sure that we got away on at least a short vacation together, just the two of us. When the kids were still small, we might only go two or three hours away - Dallas for a couple of days or Grand Lake to play golf. As they got bigger, we went farther - the Caribbean, Chicago, NYC, Italy.

This last year has been tough. Because of my mom's illness, we didn't take a vacation. The dates became a refuge and refreshment. Fun doesn't have to break the bank or take elaborate planning. Everyone has his own flavor of fun; it comes in many varieties.

My inner nerd wants to make everything an educational experience. But Ed and I didn't marry because of time we spent learning together. We got married because we enjoyed each other and had fun together - we went to movies, to eat at delicious Cajun food, had picnics at plantations. The fun continues today, just in different ways.

Fun is important in life and in marriage. A life lesson.