Wednesday, September 24, 2014


Have you noticed that when a child is born, they become the center of attention?

Besides the fact that we love them, they can’t do anything on their own. A baby becomes the center of the life of the family.

We want to make sure that we feed him for nourishment so he will thrive. We bathe, change the diaper, and wash clothes to keep her clean. We put him in bed, hoping he will sleep. When they cry, we attend to their needs.

A baby naturally thinks he is the center of his universe. He is…for a time.

What happened?

Many people in the Baby Boomer generation had parents consumed with making a living, providing a nice home, cars, etc. for their families. After all, those parents grew up during the depression and the War.

So, Baby Boomers vowed to pay more attention to their kids. Those children are now adults having their own children.

Guess what? They are no longer the center of their universe. They are trying to do it all for their children. 

How does a person cope?

How long do we make our children the center of all that we do?

We are about to make some people mad, but here goes.

Many good, Christian parents are working hard at making sure that their children are happy and successful in life. In the process, that child’s extra-curricular activities and interests take precedent over everything that happens in the family.
  • The family throws their time, money, and energy into the kids’ music, sports, etc. 
  • Sitting down to eat as a family is not a priority.
  • Sports tournaments take precedent over church. 
  • Getting the kids to all of their activities becomes the top item on their agenda, regardless of the needs of the rest of the family.
  • The marriage takes backseat. 
  • The child’s spiritual training is left for the professionals and volunteers at church.
When the kids are grown, where is the marriage?

What will the child believe is the most important - 
  • his own wants and desires
  • others’ needs
  • worshiping the Lord?
Is there a problem ….

None of us want to raise a self-centered child. A child is born self-centered. In the early years, we reinforce that idea to take care of the infant. To move away from being self-centered requires deliberate teaching and training.

We want to teach them to be other-centered and, most of all, God-centered.

Self-centered people see themselves as the center of the universe and judge everything as it relates to them. “Everything that happens (or doesn’t happen) in my world is about me.”

Some warning signs that your home may be child-centered:

  • Your child complains that she is bored. “You are in charge of keeping me entertained.”
  • Neglecting your needs, household work, or job to entertain, cater to, or indulge your child in his desires.
  • Neglecting time with your spouse to be with your children.
  • Cooking/meals revolve around children's likes/dislikes.
  • Sacrificing your sleep or intimacy with your spouse for your child to sleep when/where he wants.
  • Your child is angry when she doesn’t get her way. She dictates what the family eats, TV/movies they watch, or activities they do/don’t do.
  • Your child is a demanding when others take care of him.
  • Your child doesn’t take responsibility for his attitude or actions. It’s always someone else’s fault.
  • You intercede in situations when your child is upset, uncomfortable, or gets her feelings hurt.
  • You give in to a child's demands for a phone, other electronic devices, video games, car, etc. even when you know that it's not the best for them, you can't afford it, or that they aren't responsible enough to take care of it.

*We are talking about average American kids; we are not talking about abnormal situations involving physical/emotional disabilities or neglectful/abusive situations.

Coming soon: The God Way and Where to Start