Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Intimate Connection

We search and search for what will make us happy and fulfilled. We are more successful at some times than others in finding those things. But we are all searching for the same thing - intimacy. I think it is painful to admit that we need intimacy so much, it makes us feel dependent on others. Or we come to a place of realizing that we have never really been successful at connecting with someone else at that intimate level or to face the fact that every time we become intimate with someone they hurt us.

We were made for intimate connection.  

Our deepest needs are for intimacy, intimacy with God and with other people.

To have an intimate relationship with someone means that they know what’s inside of me and still love and accept me. They are not critical or condemning when I reveal my innermost thoughts or desires.

Intimacy requires vulnerability on my part and acceptance on the part of the other person.

Real intimacy makes us feel alive like we've been found, as if someone finally took the time to peer into the depths of our soul and really see us there. Until then, until we experience true intimacy, we will feel passed over and ignored, like someone is looking right through us. Erwin McManus

I start out life with that affinity towards intimacy - the longing for connection, acceptance, and love from another human being.

Inevitably, I have moments of disappointment. I live in an imperfect world with imperfect people who hurt or disappoint me.

While I travel the road looking for connection and acceptance, I experience affirmation for: 
  • how I look or 
  • what I do or 
  • what I have or 
  • what I have achieved ……

That affirmation feels good, even if it isn't the intimacy that I long for and pursue. So, whatever I did (my looks, my grades, my achievements, my money, etc.), I do more of it.

The areas where I find affirmation on my journey towards finding intimacy become my goal. 

I realize that vulnerability can cause hurt, so I shut that down in my life.

I have made a cheap substitution for my deepest longing, without realizing that what I crave the most can be found in an intimate, personal, connection with a holy God. I can be open and vulnerable with Him because He already knows the deepest parts of my heart and still loves me.


I have come that they might have life and have it to the full. (John 10:10b)

God Himself is the abundant life. The Greek word for “life” is zoe and means: "life, referring to the principle of life in the spirit and the soul. All the highest and best that Christ is, which He gives to the Saints."

He wants us to experience this life with Him. And we experience that life through knowing Him. This is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent. (John 17:3)

We know God through His Word and through prayer. We listen to Him. We speak to Him in prayer. The more we know Him as He truly is, the more intimate we become in our relationship.

He is the ONLY one who knows us completely and accepts us just as we are. Therefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God. (Romans 15:7)

He loves and accepts us as we are - no shame or condemnation!

Therefore there is now 
no condemnation 
for those who are in Christ Jesus. 
(Romans 8:1)