SEPTEMBER 2011 LETTER - LIVING WELL

Come and see what God has done, how awesome His works in man’s behalf! (Psalm 66:5)

What would happen if we could pull the veil back on people’s lives and see all that God has done?

We would all be amazed! We could not contain our praises for His work on our behalf. Because of confidentiality, we cannot do that with all of His the work through Living Well, but we will give you a glimpse into a few lives at our next annual dinner. Tuesday, September 27th. 

One of the tremendous opportunities that God has given us in ministry is teaching young married couples on Sunday mornings. Our goal is to teach them God’s Word in such a way that they have an intimate, personal relationship with Him and with each other. We get to see them grow and develop as followers of Christ, as leaders, and as husbands/wives, dads/moms.

We usually teach a book in the Bible, but, at least once a year, we have a marriage study. We just completed three Sundays on “The Character of Marriage.” We didn’t say the “character I married!” Character qualities are important in a person’s life but also in the substance of a marriage. [see our blog "Living Well in Marriage" for several, recent posts, with more to follow, that have writings on these topics]

We chose three qualities that we consider very important for having a great marriage - commitment, compassion, and courage. Commitment may seem obvious; without commitment it is very hard to go forward. When we meet with couples that is one of the first characteristics that we try to ascertain – what is their level of commitment to strengthen this marriage?

Commitment has to go beyond the commitment to stay married. The commitment to making the marriage great, the commitment to the very best for the other person, and the commitment to pursue God in a personal relationship are all part of the character of marriage. 

Compassion includes the feeling of distress when you see another person suffering but also the desire to do something to alleviate the suffering. Marriage without compassion loses heart and can even become abusive. Compassion gets the focus off my hurt and considers the other’s hurt.

Courage is vital in dealing with the tough parts of marriage—the courage to talk about a conflict or disagreement, risking hurt or anger or rejection. Courage says “I may be afraid to bring this up, but, for the sake of the marriage and our relationship, I will talk about it until we can resolve the issue.” Courage can take a good marriage to a higher level. We will have more about compassion and courage in future letter and online.

We continue to get encouraging feedback from our last trip to Zambia. At the end of our conference week, Ed spoke to a men’s group on Saturday. We were both exhausted. He had planned to teach all day. Due to his fatigue, he decided to teach all three lessons in the morning. As he taught that morning, men continued to pour into the church. By the time he finished, at least 100 men were there. After he left, they continued with discussions on the teachings and gave testimonies for several hours. The organizers finally had to tell them to go home. Our friend, who had initiated the conference, came to our hotel that evening to thank Ed and to share the joy of the men for that gathering. We just received an email from a man at that event, “The man to man meeting was very powerful!”

Please pray that the Lord will raise up the donors to continue this ministry. Donations make it possible for us to give guidance to people with their marriages or money management problems, regardless of their income and ability to give. The donations also sustain our work with churches in developing marriage ministries.

You are an valuable part of our ministry! We love and appreciate you and your support of the work God is doing through Living Well!
Our love in Christ,

Donna and Ed Edwards

The water that I will give him will become in him
a well of water springing up to eternal life.
John 4:14b

Energize Your Marriage - Conference

At our retreat with some great folks from southwest OK, we talked about what drains your marriage of energy.

They came up with several ideas which we had them write on big sticky notes and post on a boad. Common themes were:

• Children
• Work
• Money
• Time
• Housework
• Busy life

Then the more personal ones emerged: arguing - trust, self-centeredness, lack of sleep, laziness, TV, and pain.

We also had time at the end to share some commitments they made to ENERGIZE their marriages.

The ENERGIZE commitments included:

• Time alone together
• Praying for each other
• Making marriage a priority
• Date nights
• Better communication, listening
• Not blaming
• God first

Applause for these couples committed to strengthening their marriages! Some are pictured here:

We commend Caddo Baptist Association for their ongoing commitment to strengthen marriages in their area with yearly marriage retreats!

  



The Getting of Givng

To love as God loves takes a sacrificial attitude. We sacrifice our own desires for the sake of others.

Jesus said the attitude of giving brings the real blessings in life. “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” (Acts 20:35)
We do not need scientific research to validate what God says in His Word, but it is great fun to watch the rest of the world discover what we already know.

Scott Stanley and others have researched the topic of sacrifice in relationships. Some of what they have found:

"When defined in healthy ways, there are a number of studies that show that sacrifice for one’s partner and relationship is associated with all sorts of good things in a relationship—especially in marriage."

“Giving is a good sign in a potential partner because it is connected to things that build a strong foundation in relationships. Our take on some of the findings in our research and that of others is that sacrifice is one of the ways that partners send signals to each other about the nature of the commitment between the partners.”

Jesus said that it is better to give than to get because we derive greater joy from it .... one of those great paradoxes of life! We spend most of our life trying to get satisfaction, fulfillment, fun, and materials "things," so that we can be happy. But the feeling never lasts. But when we spend our time giving from what God has given us, we have a joy that will last.

John Piper says, "The biblical mandate to husbands and wives is to seek your own joy in the joy of your spouse."

Speaking of Marriage - Video Testimony