AUGUST 2011 LETTER - LIVING WELL

Summer blazes on! We pray that you are able to stay cool in this dry, hot weather.

We are back into our routine, meeting with couples, planning for the fall. We have seen a notable difference in appointments this summer.  We usually see a slow down in new appointments over the summer, but we have had lots of calls for new appointments since we returned from Africa. Once again, our marriage counseling appointment times are almost full. We still have openings for people who need financial counseling.

We are starting several classes during the next month or two. We are starting a new financial class, Spending Money: The Go(o)d Way. Everyone likes to spend money but we don’t always know the good way (God’s way) to spend it.  The class will meet on Thursday evenings, August 25-September 29 (six weeks), from 7-8:30, at our office. [details]

For our fall Preparing for Marriage class this year, we are going to teach it a little differently. We will still cover 8 lessons but we will do two lessons each evening and meet for two hours at a time. This will enable couples to finish the class in a shorter time but still get all of the information to help them begin their lifetime journey together.  The class will meet Mondays, September 12^th & 19^th,  October 3^rd & 10^th, from 7-9 pm at our office. [details]

We will also be leading a marriage class at our church on Sunday nights starting August 21^st.

We are looking forward to sharing more about what God is doing through our ministry at our annual dinner on Tuesday, September 27^th, this year. Save that date!

Our ministry in Africa continues to multiply. We recently received this email from Malawi. The pastor who is writing had met with our translator  in Tanzania, Nickson Kalinga.

My name is Shikunzi Mgaya, a Tanzanian by nationality, serving  in God in Malawi….

I got married last of last year to Peggy, she is a wonderful wife and a partner that I am proud of…. I knew about your Ministry through Pastor Nickson Kalinga, who happened to be a very close friend of mine and mentor too. I had a small challenge with my wife, basically I was too busy with Ministry and had very little time with my wife.

We decided to travel to Dar and meet Kalinga. Sincerely, I was helped by him and discovered how far I was from my family roles duties. Kalinga introduced me to your materials on marriage and family life as a Christian. Indeed I have been empowered so much, and revived. Those materials are so precious and full of life. He went with me step by step.

I intend to have a leadership meeting in Malawi the first week of September. Pastor Kalinga will be ministering with me, and the best part of this is that we will be using your material.

For more pictures and testimonies from our last mission trip, see our mission page. A new area on our website is about men’s ministry. Ed has had the opportunity to speak on several occasions to men’s groups; more details are provided on the web.

Summers are hard for most nonprofit ministries and churches - costs stay the same but donations drop. We are experiencing the summer slump as well. Please pray that the Lord will raise up the donors to continue this ministry. Donations make it possible for people to see help with their marriages or money management problems, regardless of their income and ability to give. They also sustain our work with developing marriage ministries in churches.

You are an valuable part of our ministry here and in Africa. We love and appreciate you and your support of the work God is doing through Living Well!

Our love in Christ,

Donna and Ed Edwards

LIVING WELL, November, 2010

Giving Thanks - Thanksgiving

Sounds the same, looks the same. Are they the same?

Thanksgiving is one of our most loved holidays in America. But is Thanksgiving still about “giving thanks?” And if we are giving thanks, to whom are we giving it?

As I (Donna) look back on the last year, it has been one of the hardest years of my life.

• A year ago, I had emergency surgery for a ruptured colon, in the hospital for a week and home for six more weeks recuperating.
• Because of the shortfall in donations, we have not been able to take full salaries, even while paying for hospital costs.
• My mother has faced many severe health issues; she is in ICU right now.
• One of our young couples, to whom we are close, have a son who came down with leukemia a year ago, has been in the hospital many weeks, and has had many complications.
• Ed had significant hearing loss in one ear.
• Our pastor died.
• Two months later our associate pastor of 43 years died; he was a friend and a mentor.
• While in Africa, I came down with an intestinal bug and was ill for several days before and after we got home.
• As we arrived home from Africa, we learned that another one of our young couples had their baby, but he had problems and died two days later.
• My niece had her first child 14 weeks prematurely and he is still in the hospital…
• .. And last week, we learned that Ed’s sister has stage 4 lung cancer (a nonsmoker).
• All of that does not include the challenges of parenting adult children who have stressful situations of their own.

And then we listen to the people’s problems all day. How do we do that? We have learned the Power of ONE.

There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called—one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
                                                                                    (Ephesians 4:4-6)

We can have personal tragedy in our own life and in the lives of those we love but still encourage others in the ways of the Lord because we know The ONE who is “over all and through all and in all.” He has given us His Power, His Strength, and His Presence.

How does this idea relate to Thanksgiving?

We can focus on the bad experiences of the last year or we can see God’s hand in the good.

We can give thanks because ….

• I survived the emergency surgery, the African bug and am back to normal now.
• we are able to pay our bills at home and at the ministry.
• mother is still with us and has hopes of recovery.
• our two young couples each experienced their tragedy with God’s grace, ministered to each other, and are beacons of faith and hope to our other young couples.
• Ed can still hear without hearing aids.
• after serving five months on the pastor search team, we have a pastor coming “in view of a call” next Sunday.
• my niece’s son is still making progress, hopes to go home soon.
• Ed’s sister still feels well and is at MD Anderson for further diagnosis this week.
• and both our kids still love us, love the Lord, and are working towards solutions in their lives.

We choose to give thanks to The ONE!

At our dinner, we were able to share the Power of ONE through many different areas of ministry.

One young couple, Zach and Jennifer, shared the Power of ONE to change their legacy of divorce, which they inherited, to a legacy of a strong marriage for their future, starting with a premarital class. Zach's parents were divorced and he travelled from one home to the other, often across the country, even across the ocean. Jennifer's parents divorced when she was 18, when her dad left her mom unexpectedly. They are commited to each other for a lifetime, seeking to strengthen their marriage before the vows and continuing throughout their marriage.

We shared one couple’s experience of coming to Living Well for the first time. [see the video]

We shared the results one year later of the Power of ONE conference in Bagamoyo, Tanzania. Hear the testimonies of pastors about how God has used what they learned last year to bring reconciliation in marriages, even after 10 years of separation, and to teach other pastors and lay people. [see the video]

We shared the Power of ONE conference in Morogoro, Tanzania, to convict pastors of sins against their wives, to bring the truth of God's design for marriage to pastors for the first time, and to encourage pastors/wives in their ministry. [see the video]

One person can make a difference!

Think of the power of one dollar to change lives, consider this …. one dollar a day.

If all the people who read this letter would donate for the first time or increase their donations by a dollar a day, we would make our budget, which means training and guiding more people.

Our love in Christ,

Donna and Ed Edwards

P.S. Please thank our Lord with us for what He has done this year!

Morogoro, Tanzania

Justin Kiwovele, country director of ALARM, Tanzania, introduces this video by sharing the impact of the Living Well ministry in Morogoro, Tanzania, June, 2010.

The pictures give a glimpse of the attentiveness and involvement of the pastors and wives attending the conference. For the first time, we had Masaai pastors attending our conferences.

A special thanks to all of those who support Living Well, so that we can continue ministering in east Africa and to Rhett and Megan O'Briant for completing our team. Their teaching, their heart, and their serving spirit came through at every moment.

Living Well in Tanzania

The power of one conference to change lives is shown through the testimonies of pastors who attended our conference in June, 20009, in Bagamayo, Tanzania.

Included are stories of how one pastor taught the material at his church and was called to teach at other churches, one pastor counseled many others and saw three couples reconcile after being separated for as much as 10 years, and how one pastors is teaching on oneness - addressing culture issues that divide the couples.

Because of the people who support our ministry, we are able to continue to go to east Africa and train many churches.

Pastor Fabian, Dar es Salaam, Tanzania

The best part of our trips to Africa are the relationships we build. Last year, Pastor Fabian and his wife attended our conference in Bagamoyo and then our workshop in Dar es Salaam. Then, we were fortunate enough to meet at their church with them and some of their church members.

At that time, Pastor Fabian was already planning a marriage conference after receiving our training. He is a very sharp guy and very creative.

After his conference, he was asked by other churches to teach there. A bishop asked him to meet with his son and his fiance to counsel them before marriage. The bishop expressed that he wish he could have the same teaching, even after years of marriage.

Pastor Fabian's wife testified, “I thank God so much for the last seminar in Bagamoyo. I thought that these teachings have come specifically for me and my husband, to fulfill our passion and desire for marriage ministry!

Traditionally pastors and their wives do not teach or minister together, but separately. But now we have crossed that barrier very freely. We are ministering together and are getting good feedback from people saying that we are ministering together well.”
 
At our follow-up session this year, Pastor Fabian came with his wife and brought a special gift which he made for us.

He made this himself, a man who doesn't even have electricity. He cut the letters from leaves and varnished them to the wood.

Obstacles in Marriage, Tanzania

During each of our Pastoral Family Enrichment Conferences in east Africa, we give them a chance to discuss the challenges in having a successful marriage. Most countries express the same obstacles which the pastors in Morogoro shared this year.

When asked to detail the obstacles in marriage in Tanzania, they said:

1. Male dominance (this issue rose to the top time after time)
2. Customs, culture, and traditions: the people don’t know biblical principles, leaders have marital problems and don’t model godly marriage
3. Traditions don’t encourage closeness with wife, don’t eat together, etc.
4. Lack of biblical teaching about marriage in churches, not enough emphasis on marriage, more focused on evangelism.
5. Poverty, Unemployment: husbands and wives transfer from region to region to find work and they are divided by their jobs.

Donna Edwards, Nickson Kalinga, and Ed Edwards teaching at Pastoral Enrichment Conference
Morogoro, Tanzania

Maasai Pastors, MOROGORO

A new experience for us was having Maasai tribesmen at our conference. We were able to recognize them by the large holes in their earlobes.

Maasai tribes live in rural areas around Morogoro. The Maasai are known for owning herds of cattle (they think that they own all the cattle in the world) and for their colorful, red garments.

Some of the Maasai men, still wearing their red garments, have moved to towns and cities to do security work, with the goal of going back to their rural home and cattle.

Some of these traditional tribesmen have come to Christ and become pastors.

The pastors are sorting out their traditional beliefs and their devotion to Christ. Their familiar red-draped fabric, beads, and enlarged earlobes are traded for suits and ties. But often they go back to their culture dress; we thought that their dress was interesting. The Maasai we encountered wore short or long pants under their familiar red, draped fabric. But other Africans explained to us that the Maasai traditional clothing leaves them “practically naked,” when they drape only one cloth around their shoulder in the most traditional way.

We did not address their attire but a more significant issue - the marriage. Their major shift in thinking is what they confessed to be a mistreatment and neglect of their wives. Their sincerity showed through the intensity of their listening and speaking.

This conference was the first conference arranged by ALARM that the Maasai pastors had attended, opening the door for them to attend many more. The Maasai pastors were so enthusiastic about the conference that they asked ALARM to come to their villages to teach.

Daniel and his daughter, MOROGORO

Daniel’s daughter attended the conference with Daniel and his wife. She was the most well-behaved child we have ever had. Daniel treasures this little girl .... but her birth did not have an easy start. Daniel had gone into deep debt trying to buy a bigger house. Then, his wife had their daughter prematurely. He was unable to pay the bills along with his already existing debt; he ended up going to prison. Daniel testified to the group about how much the lesson on money meant to him and he committed to live according to God’s plan for finances.

Rhett and Megan O'Briant, Living Well Team in MOROGORO

When travelling on a short-term mission trip, the people on the team can make an enormous amount of difference in the outcome and enjoyment. Rhett and Megan O’Briant accompanied us two years ago to Zambia. We appreciated their teaching skills and support overall to the mission effort. On this trip, we expanded their teaching role and the Africans loved them. Even though they are younger than most of those who attended, they were well received because of their openness and candor about their own marriage. Their willingness to do whatever was needed, from operating the video camera to carrying luggage through airports, endeared them to us forever.

Rhett and Megan at the Bethel Church with Nickson Kallinga, the pastor

Rhett and Megan use a visual aid, two large hearts and smaller hearts for each particpant. They are using the hearts to demonstrate what happens to our hearts when damaging patterns of communcation exist in our marriages.

They end with showing how God can heal those hearts through forgiveness.

From the O’Briant’s: “The participants came with an unmatched desire to learn and leave with a commitment not only to improve their marriages, but also to create marriage ministries within their churches. God’s hand was in each detail along the way.”

Group Discussions

These pastors and their wives enjoyed getting to know each other as they discussed a case study about a pastor who put the priority of his ministry before his wife and children. These couples strongly identified with the pastor in the case study - a man who spent six out of seven evenings in church ministry and was not involved with his family. Their priorities changed, putting theri marriage and children above ministry, but most of all, putting their relationship with God first. Many of them realized for the first time that the activity of ministry is different than their personal relationship to the Lord.

MOROGORO Conference - Group Photo

Group Picture of Family Enrichment Conference
Presented in partnership between Living Well and ALARM

Photo includes Anna Kiwovele (left end, second row) and Justin Kiwovele (left end, front row), country directors for ALARM; Ed and Donna Edwards, Megan and Rhett O'Briant, Living Well team

A Teacher's Delight

As teachers, we love to have a group who sits attentively, takes notes, and enjoys learning. These African pastors and their wives will sit in hard chairs all day long and come back the next day, ready to do it again.

Having a toddler on her back, was no deterent for this Tanzanian woman. She faithfully took notes, even in such an uncomfortable position.

Ed Edward, Living Well, gives one of his visual lessons, while Justin Kiwovele, ALARM Tanzania Director, translates to these Tanzanian pastors and wives.

Couple Time in Morogoro

The couples are learning to look at each other and express their love and commitment to each other, while they hold hands - a very new idea to them!

We teach them to say "You are God's perfect gift for me!"

GRATITUDE from MOROGORO Pastors

The pastors at the Morogoro conference composed a letter of gratitude for our team. This pastor, Peter, read a copy in English. Then another pastor read it in Swahili. We were overjoyed to receive the letter and to hear what God had done in their lives.

They felt as though they had a honeymoon because they were able to stay at a "hotel" with private rooms, running water, and meals - all paid by the generous supporters of Living Well.

Another highlight of their week was being able to meet many other pastors from different denominations. We work interdenominationally at all of our conferences.

The conference teachings on giving to your spouse, priorities of the pastor, and finances spoke to these couples in a very powerful way.

"Generally the whole seminar has become a healing and a challenge to all of us in many areas of our Marriage relationships."

They ended by saying:

"We promise that we will be teaching this seminar material to our church members and fellow Pastors who have not been able to attend this seminar. May the Almighty God Bless you richly."

MOROGORO 2010 NEWS

It is just like I have been born again, because I can see that I was sinning against my wife.

Justin Kiwovele, ALARM Tanzania

Many pastors in Morogoro conveyed this message after our conference in Morogoro. Our host, Justin Kiwovele, the ALARM Tanzania country director told us, “Many people came, flocking to me. Telling me about Ed and Donna coming to that place [Morogoro]. ‘It is just like I have been born again, because I can see that I was sinning against my wife.’ This is the problem with our African culture. They have adapted from our culture that man is superior and that the wife is just a servant. Now, when they come to be told of God’s model of marriage, it’s just like a new thing. That’s where the husbands see that they have been doing wrong to their wives. And feeling like that they should be born again.”

That statement is why we keep going back to Africa. Thank you for your prayers and support! You were there with us - your prayers, God’s spirit speaking through us, and your support.

We never know what God has for us when we go to east Africa, but it is always more than we could ask or imagine. We had a room full of people, every chair taken. We had people who sat attentively, took notes, asked questions, and made comments through the whole week. We had pastors who had never had any teaching on marriage and a few that had studied it more extensively. One pastor had studied in the U.S. and still marveled at what God taught him. Again and again, they conveyed their belief in the teachings because of the evidence of the truth in God’s Word.

New for us at this conference were several pastors from the Maasai tribe. You may recognize them as the tall, thin Africans that herd cattle and wear bright red and blue cloth wrapped around them. They often have a large beaded necklace. The Maasai men have large holes in their earlobes, which are put there from a young age. We had several pastors in our group who wore American style clothing but also had large holes in their earlobes, illustrating the dichotomy of their lives. The Maasai are strongly patriarchal, so the marriage teachings, which elevate women to a position right after their relationship with God, bring a new level of understanding to their roles as a pastor, husband, and father. Many Maasai are coming to Christ and some are becoming pastors in their villages. However, some continue their cultural traditions including the traditional dress, which was described to us as being “practically naked.” The pastors were eager to see the truth of what God teaches about marriage and the role of ministry compared to their family priorities.

We convey the results from our trip, not to commend ourselves, but to exalt Christ who works through us.

Donna brought back an intestinal, African bug with her, but is fully recovered now. Otherwise, the team did well overall with the trip and the logistics went well as we travelled. We cannot begin to thank Rhett and Megan O’Briant enough for all that they added to the teaching and the team.

Thank you for your love, support, and prayers. Our love in Christ,

Donna and Ed Edwards

P.S. Praise God for His blessings during our conference.

MOROGORO, TANZANIA

The setting for Morogoro was different than any we had experienced - the palm and ashock trees, the abundance of flowers, and the jagged mountains in the background. The town itself looked like many others that we had enjoyed on other trips to east Africa - the city center, the life-threatening round-abouts, taxis of all kinds (bicycle, motorcycles, cars), and the ever present "dalla dalla's" (public transportation, people packed into a mini-bus).

A view of the life-threatening round-about!

Taxi-stands and dalla dalla's

Living Well in Morogoro, June, 2010

After flying 10,000 miles from Oklahoma City to Dar es Salaam, another 4 hour bus ride brought us from sea level to the base of the Uluguru Mountains. The picture above shows our team with our Tanzanian hosts, Justin and Anna Kiwovele of ALARM - we just arrived and are out to find our rooms.

We had the juxtapose of mountains with palm trees - a scene unknown to Southerners.

Our team stayed at the Morogoro Hotel, our best accomodations of all of our trips to Africa. We had a beautiful setting, large bathroom, hot water, big bed, and air conditioner (when the electricity was working).

We always bring big bags that roll, but the Africans prefer putting them on their heads!

We loved the abundance of flora on the grounds of the hotel.

In Nairobi

We are now in Nairobi.

Our follow up meeting in Dar es Salaam went well. We had several people from Bagamoyo and Dar es Salaam there (people who had been to our conference and workshops last year). We were so excited to see them again. We were very encouraged to hear their testimonies of what God has done since last year.

Our only woman pastor from last year said that she had 3 woman she had counseled on marriage (since learning from us last year) who had reconciled their marriages. One woman had now been separated 10 years from her husband and they were not united again. The other couples she had counseled had similar stories. Some pastors shared about doing sermons and seminars on marriage since last year. They had also performed some premarital counseling. Soon after they started marriage ministry, other pastors have invited them to speak to their churches about marriage. We told the that they are now "marriage missionaries."

We taught a brief session to them about the first wedding and the last wedding in the Bible, and about the marriage covenant, the old covenant, and the New Covenant - what we call a "higher view" of marriage. One pastor told me that it was the first time he realized that marriage is a picture of Christ and the church.

Rhett and Megan spoke about how marriage ministry had impacted their marriage. We told the groups that Rhett and Megan were our visual aids for marriage ministry.

We are now taking a few days of vacation before we start the long flight home on Sunday night.

Sunday worshipping in Dar es Salaam

We had quite a day today. It is about 6:00 pm here right now. We left at 9:00 this morning to go to a church where our translator is the pastor. We went by taxi and it took about an hour to get there. Last year there was nothing but a piece of land and some bamboo poles where the church is. They were meeting in a school. They now have a roof and some partial walls. This approach is quite common for churches here. Then they will pour a concrete floor when they get enough money.

It was a little windy so we felt right at home. Except there were palm trees blowing in the wind.

They had about an hour of singing after we arrived. The kids did special songs and dancing for us. Then we had time to speak.

Ed and I spoke some about why we are in Tanzania and the ministry we had in Morogoro. We also shared about our marriage and children, our Living Well ministry, and the ministry at church. Megan and Rhett shared about their background and how our marriage ministry has strengthened their marriage.

Ed preached and taught on forgiveness. This lesson is always very meaningful to the people here. One African man in ministry here told us that they are very relational people but they don't communication well. They aren't good at resolving conflict. He affirmed that teaching on marriage ministry is needed very much here.

Then the pastor spoke some more. We finished about 1:00, then we went to the pastors home, by the church and had lunch. The congregation had their lunch outside. After lunch we went back into the church and talked with the adults of the church about their marriages and our testimonies of our marriages.

They were asking for materials, which we have already given to their pastor. Their hunger to learn more about Biblical marriage is growning. They were also requesting us to return to their church for a couple of days to teach if we return to Tanzania. We always enjoy the dialogue with them. The same problems and questions are raised everywhere we go. It is encouraging to know that we have Biblical answers for them. We left there around 5:00 and got back here about 5:30 minutes ago. It was a long day but very enjoyable.

We are all maintaining our health. We rest well most of the time.

Tomorrow we have a long day in a follow-up meeting with the some of the churches we met last year. Fortunately, we will be meeting at the center here where we are staying. We are anxious to see them and hear from them.

We appreciate your continued prayers for us.

Great Week in Morogoro

We had a great week in Morogoro! The pastors and their wives there were so excited about what we taught them.

We try to use a lot of visual aids as we teach. Rhett and Megan have very creative ideas for the visual aids for their lessons (high five for all of the school teachers out there). One woman said that after we leave that they may not remember all that we taught but they will remember the visual illustrations and principles from them.

One of the more experienced pastors, who also speaks English, came to speak to us at lunch one day. He said that he had been to a lot of seminars there on discipleship, leadership, the Holy Spirit, and others but our teaching was rare. They all expressed how much the families of Tanzania need this message. As with all of our conferences over here, they pleaded with us to return.

The people here are so appreciative of the teaching that we bring and the Bibles we give them and the notebook of lessons. Thanks to all of you who help us come here!

The funds we raise also pay for them to come stay at the place where we have the conference, a "hotel." They are there for a week without their children (except the infants) and having someone else cook. They told us it was like being on a honeymoon. Thanks for providing this opportunity to people who could never afford to do that on their own.